"We're all trying to find the guy who did this."
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionIsraeli Threat To ‘Bomb Lebanon Back To Stone Age’ If Attacked More Appealing To Lebanese Than Hezbollah Rule
"Which features, exactly, of post-stone-age life do we enjoy at present?"
Read More »Progressive Israelites Threaten To Pack Sanhedrin
"We just left Egypt, and we don't need a repeat of a national leader who exercises ultimate political power."
Read More »I Was Lied To At Summer Camp About Israel: That Nerd Jake DIDN’T Have A Girlfriend There
"Sh-she's from, she's from, uh, Rishon LeTziyon. You've probably never heard of it. Just south of Tel Aviv."
Read More »Report: Apartment Hunter Seeking Rental That ‘Doesn’t Reek Of Weed’ Must Be Billionaire Or Something
"Who can afford a place in this neighborhood with weed-free air, a Rothschild?"
Read More »Rabbinate: Wedding Without Chocolate Potentially Invalid
Chocolate's ubiquitous role in celebration means if it is lacking, we are concerned that one or both of the parties will feel defrauded, and the transaction is void.
Read More »Palestinians To Test West’s Credulousness With Dry-Season Claims Of Israel Flooding Gaza
"Will the reporters believe what they see in the dry streets, or their need to amplify our cause?"
Read More »Hungary, Paraguay To Move Embassies To Jerusalem, Causing World To End AGAIN
Palestinian threats over Jerusalem embassies have destroyed the world millions of times already.
Read More »Detroit Congresswoman Condemns Israel For Lethal ED-209 Malfunction
The 'Lethal Exchange' reports claimed American police departments learned brutal tactics from the Israeli security apparatus.
Read More »Conservative Activist Sees Pride Brouhaha In US, Wish Israel Had Brands Worth Boycotting
McDonald's, IBM, H&M, Pizza Hut, Bath & Body Works, Children's Place, Toys 'R' Us, and others have all enjoyed some success in Israel - while avoiding overtly political or controversial stances.
Read More »