The mob dispersed and its former participants returned to their previous activities atop the sacred plateau, such as soccer, jump-rope, tag, and relay races.
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed Subscription[Insert Progressive Issue] Is A Jewish Value
by Rabbi Jill Jacobs, Truah – The Rabbinic Call for Human Rights New York, March 29 – Democracy. Feminism. Marriage equality. #ItsHerTurn. Mandated pronouns. Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion. Critical Race Theory. Collective reparations. Drag Queen Story Hours. Free Palestine. Net ...
Read More »Pharisees Rid Seder Of Man Who Miraculously Produces Loaves Forbidden On Passover
“It’s not really our business what the Romans to do him,” shrugged a man named Philip. “At this point we can wash our hands of the incident.” Jerusalem, March 28 – A group of Jewish sages narrowly avoided violation of ...
Read More »Opposition To Judicial Reform A Pretty Handy Pretext Not To Work
“We won’t let Bib and Ben-Gvir do this,” asserted Dafna Shoham from her chaise longue at Bograshov Beach. Jerusalem, March 27 – Students, faculty, public sector workers, and other members of Israel’s largest labor union agreed today that the ongoing ...
Read More »Palestinian History Museum: Roman Conquest Bad, Arab Conquest Good
With special venom reserved for Jews reasserting their claim to the land. Ramallah, March 23 – Staff at an institution dedicated to displaying indigenous artifacts of the Arab people of this part of the Levant struggled again today to articulate ...
Read More »Palestine Declares War On Kailasa
“Local and national leaders will begin questioning whether or not other nations they currently show respect for and send money to actually exist.” By: Dr. Nu vo Denn In an unprecedented joint statement, the head of the Palestinian Authority and ...
Read More »Leftist Angers Allies By Suggesting Appealing To Majority To Win Elections
“I know this is spitballing.” Tel Aviv, March 22 – A political activist sparked outrage among her colleagues today by floating the notion that in a democracy, the best way to ensure one’s preferred policy outcomes involves engaging enough voters ...
Read More »Children Insist 100K Attended Their Rally Against Parental Overreach
The living room and kitchen, where the demonstration took place, have a maximum capacity of 40 people. Pardes Ḥannah, March 22 – Two teenagers who organized a demonstration against an impending household policy to assert a greater role for the ...
Read More »Why Won’t The Jews Buy All This Blood I’ve Collected?
By Count Dracula Transylvania, March 20 – Passover it just over two weeks away. Those who observe it should be busy preparing their unleavened flatbread. But not a single one has responded to my ad announcing the availability of copious ...
Read More »Son Of Synagogue Of Satan President Always Gets To Lead Dark Hymns
"I could do such a better job with 'O Unholy One Who Darkens the Sun'. And he always uses the same stupid tune."
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