The living room and kitchen, where the demonstration took place, have a maximum capacity of 40 people. Pardes Ḥannah, March 22 – Two teenagers who organized a demonstration against an impending household policy to assert a greater role for the ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionWhy Won’t The Jews Buy All This Blood I’ve Collected?
By Count Dracula Transylvania, March 20 – Passover it just over two weeks away. Those who observe it should be busy preparing their unleavened flatbread. But not a single one has responded to my ad announcing the availability of copious ...
Read More »Son Of Synagogue Of Satan President Always Gets To Lead Dark Hymns
"I could do such a better job with 'O Unholy One Who Darkens the Sun'. And he always uses the same stupid tune."
Read More »IDF To Lower Security Barrier Amid Palestinian Reliance On Child Soldiers
“We must adapt to the changing face of the threat.” Tel Aviv, March 16 – Israeli security officials disclosed today that they are considering modifications to the robust defense mechanisms against terrorism to account for the increased use of minors ...
Read More »Group That Glorifies Child-Murder, Child Soldiers, Targeting Civilians, Lynches, Hijacking, Bus-Bombs, Wants You To Think They’re The Good Guys
Despite the apparent contradiction in the sentiments, the Palestinian cause has attracted no small amount of support.
Read More »Elephant In Room’s Metaphor For Awkward Unspoken Truth Is ‘Muslim Antisemitism’
The researchers immediately grasped that the creatures were referencing the common practice among Western journalists, politicians, and “experts” to ignore fourteen centuries of Jew-hate embedded in Islamic culture. Washington, March 14 – Zoologists have determined that pachyderms have an analogous ...
Read More »Area Billionaire Outraged That Poor Man’s Vote Counts As Much As His; ‘Undemocratic’
“There’s a fundamental flaw in a system that allows people to vote if they haven’t contributed to the society in very specific ways that happen to dovetail with my experience, strengths, and biases.” Tel Aviv, March 13 – A former ...
Read More »Unsold Purim Costumes Repackaged As Passover ‘Cereal’
The complete lack of food ingredients makes Rabbinate certification as kosher-for-Passover a formality. Jerusalem, March 12 – What becomes of the racks and racks of masks, wigs, cloaks, and other mass-produced paraphernalia that no one bought, but occupies valuable display ...
Read More »Palestine Is *The* Issue Of Gravest Concern For Michigan
By Congresswoman Rashida Tlaib (D-MI) Dearborn, March 9 – Here in the Twelfth Congressional District, we have our work cut out for us. This once-prospering, working-class area of Detroit used to boast manufacturing jobs that put the American dream within ...
Read More »Man Scoffs At Needing Purim As Pretext For Getting Plastered
“No one needs to hear how righteous you are when we all know you’re only interested in chugging enough liquor to pass out and maybe throw up six or seven times along the way.” Jerusalem, March 8 – A resident ...
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