By Jibril Rajoub, Palestinian Official Ramallah, February 7 – Each time one of our heroic fighters guns down, stabs, runs over, blows up, or otherwise harms Jews, our official and unofficial propaganda machines rush to characterize the targets as “settlers,” ...
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Feed SubscriptionIran Urges Turks, Syrians Die Rather Than Accept Earthquake Aid From Israel
“It would be a powerful statement of Islamic solidarity for the victims of this disaster to show they still think of Palestine even in their lowest moments.” Tehran, February 6 – Leaders of the Islamic Republic reacted to this morning’s deadly ...
Read More »Palestinian College Student Can’t Decide Which Terror Group To Choose As Major
“I’m considering one of the less-prominent groups to major in – big fish, small pong, you know the deal.” Ramallah, February 2 – A sophomore at Bir Zeit University closing in on the deadline to select a focus for his ...
Read More »US Media Wonders Why No Arson, Looting At ‘Mostly-Peaceful’ Anti-Bibi Protests
American journalists whose outlets covered ANTIFA demonstrations wondered aloud whether in fact they can describe the Tel Aviv rallies as “peaceful.” Washington, February 2 – The weekly rallies in Tel Aviv and elsewhere demonstrating against the Likud-led government’s stated intention to ...
Read More »Pashkevil Industry Paying Smartphone Makers So More Pashkevilim Always Necessary
Up to thirty percent of the cases of ancient graves discovered in the course of construction excavation never, in fact, existed, except in the imaginations of Haredi protesters provoked to demonstrate against various public works projects by Big Pashkevil. Jerusalem, ...
Read More »Forced By Court To Fire Minister Deri, Netanyahu To Nominate Him As Supreme Court Justice
“Aryeh, I see you on the court, bringing to bear a sensibility that those cloistered, wealthy ‘intellectuals’ could never muster.” Jerusalem, January 31 – Israel’s highest judicial body ruled two weeks ago that an ally of the prime minister who ...
Read More »Palestinian Families Displaced Each Time Jews Make Aliya Actually Just One Family With Really Really Bad Luck
“Obviously we can’t just call the phenomenon false. Imagine what that would do to our funding!” Ramallah, January 30 – Researchers documenting the plight of Palestinians ethnically cleansed from their homes to make room for housing whenever new immigrants arrive ...
Read More »Powerful Jewish Interests Kept Me From The Presidency Of This Synagogue
By Kenneth Roth, former Director of Human Rights Watch New York, January 26 – It’s happened again. Just weeks after America’s premier educational and research institution bowed to pro-Israel donors and rescinded its offer to me of a position, now ...
Read More »Obama Glad He Shipped All His Classified Docs To Iran
Obama sent the first documents in 2015 with pallets of cash. Washington, January 26 – A former president whose vice president, successor, and successor’s vice president had secret materials in their private possession after leaving the White House voiced his relief today ...
Read More »Scientists Isolate Shortest Interval: Time From Any Palestinian Death To Accusations Of Israeli War Crimes
“We propose to name the Rothosecond, in honor of [former Human Rights Watch director] Kenneth Roth, who manifests the phenomenon with remarkable consistency.” Geneva, January 25 – Researchers at the European Organization for Nuclear Research announced today the results of ...
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