“At least Hezbollah will be able to kill Israelis as indiscriminately as they kill Lebanese. Some important things will come out of it.” Tehran, September 6 – Citizens of the Islamic Republic who have lived under political, religious, and cultural ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionEurope-Funded Palestinians Fight For Same Illegal Land-Grab
“I don’t know where these scumbags got the idea that they could just rumble in and steal our perfectly legitimate theft.” North of Jerusalem, September 5 – Two groups of activists with financial backing from separate German political entities clashed ...
Read More »All Culture To Be Transformed Into Amorphous Blobs To Avoid Offending, Triggering
Even the braille edition of The New York Times will come to an end by mid-2023, since the use of braille requires literacy, and that discriminate against the literacy-impaired. New York, September 4 – Museums, schools, libraries, and other repositories of ...
Read More »Man Bragging A Little Too Much About Size Of His Shofar
“The trick is learning to handle the weight and girth of it. It’s about cultivating stamina.” Crown Heights, September 1 – A man who blows a ram horn each weekday in the synagogue for most of the month leading up ...
Read More »Please Don’t Confuse My Racism Of Low Expectations For Arabs With My Outright Hate For Jews
by Jeremy Pine, BBC Middle East correspondent Jerusalem, August 31 – I feel like my audience makes certain erroneous assumptions about my prejudices, and will now attempt to clarify for you the biases that govern my reporting so that you ...
Read More »Promising New Fungus Species Grows On Laundry Left In Washer For 3rd Day
“We’d like to encourage households everywhere to embark on similar modes of behavior.” Jerusalem, August 30 – Scientists voiced cautious optimism today upon discovering that among the microorganisms festering in a local collection of wet laundry lies a previously-unknown type of mold ...
Read More »Skynet Extermination Of Humanity Hasn’t Resolved Israeli Coalition Crisis
“The insects are definitely more civilized about it, though.” Where Jerusalem used to be, August 29 – Twenty-five years ago today, the artificial-intelligence apparatus that managed the US military and defense apparatus became self-aware and instigated global nuclear war in ...
Read More »Rest Of Mideast Kind Of Jealous Ben-Gvir Wants To Send Only Palestinians To Europe
“It just isn’t fair.” Amman, August 25 – A controversial, discriminatory proposal by a far-right Israeli lawmaker piqued interest in the wider region this week, and caused many to wonder why only disloyal Arabs living under Israeli rule would get ...
Read More »NGOs Working On Strategy To Call Israeli Gaza Attack Tunnel Barrier ‘Apartheid Wall’ Also
“‘Apartheid’ is the hot term right now.” Gaza City, August 25 – Reports of Israel’s military neutralizing yet another underground passage from this coastal territory into the Jewish State has challenged human rights groups to find ways that they can spin ...
Read More »Non-Jew Happy To Tell Jews What Jews Believe
“It’s especially Jewish to tolerate people who seek to harm you, which is why so many Jews are proud progressives.” New York, August 24 – A gentile took the opportunity again today to lecture a member of the Hebraic tribes ...
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