“Jews must be very, very wary of defending themselves if that might impinge on the freedom of those doing the attacking.” Tel Aviv, November 17 – More than seventy years’ worth of Jews defending themselves against Arab violence, and acting ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionFarrakhan Not An NBA Player Who Can Be Suspended, Rendering US Powerless To Address Antisemitism
“We’re stymied,” admitted former President Barack Obama, whose own past includes posing for pictures with Farrakhan. New York, November 16 – The removal of a basketball star from a Brooklyn franchise for several games over the player’s sharing of content ...
Read More »‘Israel Doesn’t Represent Jews!’ Cries Man Accosting Random Jews About Israel
Jews are responsible collectively for Israeli policies and that Jews have nothing to do with Israel. New York, November 15 – A pro-Palestinian activist who insists that Zionists have created a false link between their movement and the religion that ...
Read More »People Who Think Actual Terrorist Arafat Changed Ways Refuse To Accept Former Kahanist Has Moderated
“A leopard can’t change his spots,” insisted Zehava Gal-On. Jerusalem, November 14 – The evolution of a far-right figure who, among other beyond-the-pale rhetoric, once expressed admiration for a man who massacred dozens of Palestinians at prayer, into an influential kingmaker who ...
Read More »Airline Officials Puzzled: No Rush Of Leftists Leaving Country After Right-Wing Victory, Despite Vows
“We had some anticipation of a windfall over the next several months, perhaps up to two years out,” acknowledged Lufthansa spokesman Gerhardt von Stupp. Ben-Gurion International Airport, November 10 – Representatives of the dozens of carriers offering passenger service to ...
Read More »As A Self-Righteous Narcissist, I Expected Musk To Take My Threat To Leave Twitter More Seriously
By Blue-Check Journalist Washington, November 10 – It’s been a couple of weeks since ownership of the bird app officially passed to the hands of the founder of Tesla and SpaceX. The more excitable among us swear they could see ...
Read More »Syria, Iraq Mark Kristallnacht: Sadly, They Have No Jews To Oppress Anymore
Kristallnacht-like events in the Arab world occurred at various scales over the course of the centuries, most infamously the 1941 Farhud. Damascus, November 9 – The 84th anniversary of a pogrom across the Third Reich that destroyed synagogues, destroyed Jewish enterprises, killed ...
Read More »In Case Of Hezbollah Attack, Biden Admin Promises Israel Harsh Victim-Blaming
Biden will rush to explain that Israel probably deserves it. Tel Aviv, November 8 – The White House sought today to reinforce its support for a maritime boundary and resource-sharing agreement between the the Jewish State and its northern neighbor ...
Read More »Jews’ Success In Teaching About Their Persecution Cited As Proof Of Privilege
Antisemites see the privileged status of Jews in such contexts as Treblinka and conclude that Jews must exert enormous power. New York, November 7 – Widespread knowledge that Jews were herded by the millions to their extermination by gas, bullets, starvation, and ...
Read More »Omnipotent God Amused You Think ‘Can God Make A Stone He Can’t Lift?’ Means Anything
The Being that created the universe with the spoken word made heard what other divine beings heard as a chuckle. Heaven, November 3 – The creator ex nihilo of all existence, with complete control and absolute knowledge of every last ...
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