“These are rightfully Lebanese platforms, and as such, we are relieving Lebanon of the headaches associated with them.” Beirut, July 27 – The Shiite militia that effectively controls Lebanon on behalf of its Iranian masters unveiled an ambitious program today ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionAlien Archaeologists Posit Ritual Significance To Badly-Proportioned Figurines With Tiny Waists, Long Hair, Large Breasts
The layers of colorful fabric in which the figures are often adorned demonstrates they were objects of devotion. Northeast coast of Land Mass B, July 26 – Explorers unearthed another sample of a distorted humanoid replica last month, identical to ...
Read More »Man Struggles To Explain Science Behind Prioritizing Palestinian Issue In Climate Change Policy
“Most progressives kind of take for granted that the Palestinian cause sits at the nexus of all the world’s important challenges. It’s hard to articulate why that is, to the uninitiated.” New York, July 25 – A demonstrator outside the ...
Read More »Millions Of Happy Arab-Israelis Are A Token Minority, But The Antizionist 5% Of US Jews Are The Authentic Ones
By Rafael Shimunov, Jews For Racial and Economic Justice Brooklyn, July 21 – The familiar, cynical tactic of taking an unrepresentative slice of a group and holding them up as representative of the larger demographic features in the hasbara efforts of ...
Read More »Ukraine Refugees In Israel Look At Clothing Donated By American Jews, Have Pity On American Jews
“This is how they dress? They need help more than we do. Is anyone taking up a collection?” Nes Harim, July 21 – Jews who fled to the Jewish State over the last several months following Putin’s invasion voiced sympathy ...
Read More »Diplomats Stress Importance Of Not Calling Murderous Barbarian Terrorist Thugs To Task
“King Abdullah might have a sad.” Jerusalem, July 20 – Government insiders reminded the public today that upholding the values and morals of a society entails saying nothing to or about the heinous actions of brutal criminals and the organizations ...
Read More »After Audio Of Eichmann Admitting Final Solution His Project, Palestinian Authority Seeks To Pay His Heirs
Experts estimate the total amount will exceed eight billion dollars, which accounts for the bulk of the Palestinian Authority’s annual budget, itself largely underwritten by foreign donors. Ramallah, July 19 – The contents of a 1957 interview with the chief ...
Read More »Palestinians Don’t Know Whether To Tout Dead Terrorist As ‘Journalist’ Or ‘Child’
“Sticking to the ‘Israeli Occupation Slaughters Innocent Palestinian Child’ model has served us well and has shown no signs of losing its utility.” Jenin, July 18 – Divisions emerged among propagandists for the jihadist militants targeting the Jews of the ...
Read More »Soccer Fan Hopes To Catch Maariv Minyan At Post-Game Riot
“I’m still saying Kaddish for my mother.” Jerusalem, July 14 – A stalwart supporter of this city’s Premier League team, known for the jingoistic, often-racist, and sometimes-violent passion of its core demographic, plans to return from this evening’s match too ...
Read More »Cop Training With Israel Angry He Must Put Racism In Curriculum On His Own
Contrary to the rhetoric of numerous progressives, the course materials contain no ethnic prejudice. Ferguson, Missouri, July 14 – A local law enforcement officer taking hands-on courses and studying counterterrorism and other relevant subjects with instructors and materials from counterparts ...
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