“A cohort of applicants believes they would come by this hard-earned knowledge as if by magic, without cracking open a textbook or engaging in direct study of the relevant materials.” Jerusalem, September 12 – The reconstituted judicial body that serves as ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionI Feel Like My Kid’s ‘Happy Birthday Osama’ Banner Didn’t Go Over Well Today
by Hamda al-Fadi, DMV clerk Brooklyn, September 11 – My son turned five today, and I thought we’d acknowledge his milestone by not just keeping the celebration within the walls of our apartment, but showing him we want to share the occasion ...
Read More »After Dealing With Your Kid, Teacher Wishes Year HAD Begun With Strike
In what has become an almost-annual ritual, the end of summer vacation this year saw threats by Israel’s Teachers’ Union to strike unless the Ministry of Finance agreed to increase teacher salaries. Beer Sheva, September 8 – Seven school days ...
Read More »Supreme Court Amused You Think It Matters Israel Founded As Jewish, Democratic
“I can’t believe in this day and age there’s someone so naïve as to really, sincerely presume ‘democracy’ is anything but what we, the elevated, unelected wise ones, declare it to be.” Jerusalem, September 7 – Members of the Jewish ...
Read More »Oppressed, Poor Iranians: At Least Hezbollah, Hamas Will Enjoy Nuclear Deal Riches
“At least Hezbollah will be able to kill Israelis as indiscriminately as they kill Lebanese. Some important things will come out of it.” Tehran, September 6 – Citizens of the Islamic Republic who have lived under political, religious, and cultural ...
Read More »Europe-Funded Palestinians Fight For Same Illegal Land-Grab
“I don’t know where these scumbags got the idea that they could just rumble in and steal our perfectly legitimate theft.” North of Jerusalem, September 5 – Two groups of activists with financial backing from separate German political entities clashed ...
Read More »All Culture To Be Transformed Into Amorphous Blobs To Avoid Offending, Triggering
Even the braille edition of The New York Times will come to an end by mid-2023, since the use of braille requires literacy, and that discriminate against the literacy-impaired. New York, September 4 – Museums, schools, libraries, and other repositories of ...
Read More »Man Bragging A Little Too Much About Size Of His Shofar
“The trick is learning to handle the weight and girth of it. It’s about cultivating stamina.” Crown Heights, September 1 – A man who blows a ram horn each weekday in the synagogue for most of the month leading up ...
Read More »Please Don’t Confuse My Racism Of Low Expectations For Arabs With My Outright Hate For Jews
by Jeremy Pine, BBC Middle East correspondent Jerusalem, August 31 – I feel like my audience makes certain erroneous assumptions about my prejudices, and will now attempt to clarify for you the biases that govern my reporting so that you ...
Read More »Promising New Fungus Species Grows On Laundry Left In Washer For 3rd Day
“We’d like to encourage households everywhere to embark on similar modes of behavior.” Jerusalem, August 30 – Scientists voiced cautious optimism today upon discovering that among the microorganisms festering in a local collection of wet laundry lies a previously-unknown type of mold ...
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