Only by taking completely futile measures that no one of any consequence will even notice, let alone respect, can I hope to convey my frustration and disappointment to them. Jerusalem, October 20 – A voter who finds that none of the ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionPalestinians Warn UK Embassy Move Will Bring Violence, As If Anyone Could Tell Difference
“Palestinian threats have become part of the background noise, part of the scenery, like pigeons crapping all over everything and everyone in Trafalgar Square.” Ramallah, October 19 – Leaders of various Palestinian factions threatened today that if British Prime Minister Liz ...
Read More »Miami Boys’ Choir Declines Invitation To Sing US Anthem At Ball Game: ‘Too High’
“And the rockets red glare” and “O’er the land of the free.” New York, October 13 – A Jewish vocal group of preadolescent youth whose material proved an inexplicable hit on social media over the last month turned down an ...
Read More »If Not Now Misses By A Week, Holds Yom Kippur Feast In Middle Of Sukkot
The belated discovery prompted a flurry of googling and discussions among the seven attendees how to coopt Sukkot for anti-Israel propaganda purposes. New York, October 13 – A self-styled Jewish organization committed an error in planning its special Day of ...
Read More »I Could Stop Seeing Sinister Zionist Plots Everywhere, But That Would Mean I Have To Get A Life
by Amer Zahr Dearborn, Michigan – Life can get tough for the anti-Israel activist. But by “life” I mean only the biological, functional term, because between the obsession, surrender of identity, and conspiratorial thinking, not much time remains for a ...
Read More »IDF Demolitions Of Terrorists’ Homes: Islamophobic Suppression Of Palestinian Throwing-Gays-Off-Roofs Ritual
“Palestinians could not perform the roof-throwing of a gay man properly, and had no choice but to kidnap the Palestinian man from inside Israel, drag him back to Palestinian-controlled territory, and behead him.” Ramallah, October 9 – Human rights groups and ...
Read More »Israel Considers Kidnapping Uighurs: Regimes That Do So Have Their Abuses Ignored
If Israel does as China does, the thinking goes, Israel-bashing will dissipate. Tel Aviv, October 6 – Ministry of Defense officials refused to deny reports today that the Jewish State’s international intelligence and operations arm has granted preliminary approval to ...
Read More »Heckling Of Jewish Stand-Up Comedian In Nebraska Somehow Fails To Free Palestine
“What happens after that is, I think, that everyone realizes the justice of the Palestine cause and how it supersedes anything they might have been trying to do, just because I’m so loud and vehement.” Omaha, October 4 – An ...
Read More »UN Sorry It Didn’t Get Chance To Establish Agency Just For Martha’s Vineyard Deportees
“Unfortunately, we were unable to act swiftly enough to set up a new agency with a similar mandate to that of UNRWA.” New York, October 3 – Delegates to the world’s largest international organization working toward cooperation among states voiced ...
Read More »Man Who Won’t Hire Visibly-Religious Jews Blames Them For Not Working
“Parasites,” Corell was heard to mutter after rereading a New York Times article on the alleged academic underperformance of certain Hasidic schools. New York, September 29 – A business owner with a bias against employing Haredim also accuses Haredim of ...
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