Only dishonesty could account for those who associate you with objectionable elements. Your invocation of the other side’s extremists, however, captures the essence of that entire camp’s ideology. Tel Aviv, June 15 – New research suggests that whereas your political fellow-travelers ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionBiden Announces He Identifies As Black, All Criticism Therefore Racist
Mainstream media sources rushed to assist. Washington, June 14 – The historically unpopular President of the United States continued to scramble this week to shore up his poll numbers with a tactic that aims to curtain the flood of opprobrium ...
Read More »Woman Thinks Pride Flag In Profile Entitles Her To Be Utter P.O.S.
When anyone challenges her on her behavior she throws out a ‘You’re attacking me because I support LGBT rights!’ Tel Aviv, June 9 – A resident of the affluent neighborhood of Ramat Aviv in the northern section of this Mediterranean ...
Read More »Waqf Clarifies: Only Muslims Allowed To Urinate On Al Aqsa Mosque
“Who are Westerners to call the elimination of urine from the body on top of a holy shrine a show of disrespect?” Jerusalem, June 8 – Video of a militant Islamist relieving himself on the roof of Islam’s third-holiest site ...
Read More »Iranian Hackers Take Crucial Step Toward Destroying Israel: Disabling Website Of Haifa-Area Dry Cleaner
Experts differ on when, if ever, the breach will gain the proprietors’ attention. Isfahan, Islamic Republic of Iran, June 7 – Online activists with skill in compromising the security of internet-connected remote computers celebrated a milestone today in the ongoing campaign ...
Read More »J-Street Head To Lead Conference Of Presidents Of Minor Jewish Organizations
“Jeremy has all the credentials the Minor Presidents’ Conference needs: limited influence, frustrated fundraising goals, some token friends in high places…” Washington, June 1 – The director of a “pro-Israel, pro-peace” lobbying group that somehow manages never to support pro-Israel ...
Read More »Vendor Just Needs One Tourist To Believe This Jesus’s iPhone Case
“God knows there are enough fools among tourists, and among Christians. I need only one who is both, to visit my store and buy the case.” Jerusalem, May 31 – The owner of a souvenir stall in the Old City keeps ...
Read More »AP Repeats Palestinian Claims That Israeli Sniper Also Caused Challenger Disaster, Chernobyl
IDF representatives continued the Israeli military’s anemic equivocation on the matter. Jenin, May 30 – Major media continued their uncritical parroting of anti-Israel propaganda today while treating Israeli claims with skepticism, with one leading outlet stating as fact that the ...
Read More »Tantalus Glad At Least He Not Yair Lapid Chasing Premiership
“I think that’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard.” Tartarus, May 26 – A Greek demigod sentenced to have the objects of his fondest desires always eluding his grasp took solace today upon realizing that the fate of Israel’s current ...
Read More »Emptying Synagogue Won’t Deter Rabbi From Lengthy Sermon
“The place was packed before that, easily eighty or ninety people.” Jerusalem, May 26 – Friday evening services this past weekend saw a dramatic occurrence at a local house of worship, when manifest dissatisfaction evident in the steady stream of ...
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