“Palestinian threats have become part of the background noise, part of the scenery, like pigeons crapping all over everything and everyone in Trafalgar Square.” Ramallah, October 19 – Leaders of various Palestinian factions threatened today that if British Prime Minister Liz ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionMiami Boys’ Choir Declines Invitation To Sing US Anthem At Ball Game: ‘Too High’
“And the rockets red glare” and “O’er the land of the free.” New York, October 13 – A Jewish vocal group of preadolescent youth whose material proved an inexplicable hit on social media over the last month turned down an ...
Read More »If Not Now Misses By A Week, Holds Yom Kippur Feast In Middle Of Sukkot
The belated discovery prompted a flurry of googling and discussions among the seven attendees how to coopt Sukkot for anti-Israel propaganda purposes. New York, October 13 – A self-styled Jewish organization committed an error in planning its special Day of ...
Read More »I Could Stop Seeing Sinister Zionist Plots Everywhere, But That Would Mean I Have To Get A Life
by Amer Zahr Dearborn, Michigan – Life can get tough for the anti-Israel activist. But by “life” I mean only the biological, functional term, because between the obsession, surrender of identity, and conspiratorial thinking, not much time remains for a ...
Read More »IDF Demolitions Of Terrorists’ Homes: Islamophobic Suppression Of Palestinian Throwing-Gays-Off-Roofs Ritual
“Palestinians could not perform the roof-throwing of a gay man properly, and had no choice but to kidnap the Palestinian man from inside Israel, drag him back to Palestinian-controlled territory, and behead him.” Ramallah, October 9 – Human rights groups and ...
Read More »Israel Considers Kidnapping Uighurs: Regimes That Do So Have Their Abuses Ignored
If Israel does as China does, the thinking goes, Israel-bashing will dissipate. Tel Aviv, October 6 – Ministry of Defense officials refused to deny reports today that the Jewish State’s international intelligence and operations arm has granted preliminary approval to ...
Read More »Heckling Of Jewish Stand-Up Comedian In Nebraska Somehow Fails To Free Palestine
“What happens after that is, I think, that everyone realizes the justice of the Palestine cause and how it supersedes anything they might have been trying to do, just because I’m so loud and vehement.” Omaha, October 4 – An ...
Read More »UN Sorry It Didn’t Get Chance To Establish Agency Just For Martha’s Vineyard Deportees
“Unfortunately, we were unable to act swiftly enough to set up a new agency with a similar mandate to that of UNRWA.” New York, October 3 – Delegates to the world’s largest international organization working toward cooperation among states voiced ...
Read More »Man Who Won’t Hire Visibly-Religious Jews Blames Them For Not Working
“Parasites,” Corell was heard to mutter after rereading a New York Times article on the alleged academic underperformance of certain Hasidic schools. New York, September 29 – A business owner with a bias against employing Haredim also accuses Haredim of ...
Read More »What Is Russian Word For Nakba?
by Vladimir Putin, President, Russian Federation Moscow, September 29 – Special Operation in Ukraine began February, but I will be first to admit it did not follow plan we had. Bombast and disinformatsiya had only part of desired effect, we failed ...
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