Mr. Zikri refers to the group of well-paid athletes, none of whom know who he is or how much of his money and psyche he has invested in supporting them, as “we.” Jerusalem, May 11 – A resident of Israel’s ...
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Feed SubscriptionJews Using Space Laser To Make Man Think Jews Use Space Lasers For Mind Control
“Detached-from-reality conspiracy theories about Jewish power and nefariousness can only be explained by Jews using advanced technology to plant those theories in non-Jewish brains to discredit proper suspicion of Jews as criminal masterminds on an epic scale.” Atlanta, May 10 ...
Read More »Fringe Group Acting On Behalf Of ‘The People’ Attracts Votes From Few Actual People
“It’s totally unlike the elites that we aim to supplant, who claim to know what the masses need but in fact are more interested in maintaining and expanding their own power. We would never do that, unlike every other supposedly-Communist ...
Read More »Boy Shocked To Learn He Becomes Bar Mitzva Even If Event Not On TikTok
“I’m still having trouble wrapping my head around the idea that something happens if it hasn’t been recorded and uploaded to the cloud.” Jerusalem, May 5 – A local tweenager whose family and community will mark his transition into Jewish ...
Read More »Gaza Maker Of Israeli Flags For Burning Finds Lucrative Alternative Selling To Israelis For Yom HaAtzmaut
“I already have bids in for various ‘I love Israel’ tourist swag, and it looks like at least four or five big orders might be coming my way in the net month alone.” Gaza City, May 5 – The local ...
Read More »Scruffy-Looking Nerf-Herder Persuaded To Join Haganah
The Haganah operation he helped support seemed “more like suicide,” Solo had told one of his erstwhile comrades. Tel Aviv, May 4 – A rogue pilot with a checkered history of questionably-legal activities has decided to throw his lot in with the ...
Read More »Your Attack Killed Only Non-Jews, For Which The Lifetime Pension Is Lower
by Muhammad Shtinqr, Acting Secretary, Prisoner Pension Payment Commissioner Ramallah, May 3 To: Mr. Fasil Fattehd Ofer Prison We are in receipt of your letter of complaint dated 22 April in which you objected to the stipend you will receive ...
Read More »Omar, Tlaib Offer Tehran To Shelter Centrifuges In Their Basements
“Iran gets a secure location to pursue its peaceful weapons program, where foreign military operations will not reach it. The U.S. removes the materials and processes of concern from Iran. Win-win.” St. Paul, May 2 – Two prominent members of Congress ...
Read More »Activist Documenting All Apartheid In Israel Exhausts Research In 12 Minutes, Seeks Suggestions For Stuff To Do Rest Of Month
“Is this one of those things where we change the long-established definition of a term so we can paint Israel as violating it, like we did with ‘seller-colonialism,’ ‘ethnic cleansing,’ and ‘genocide’?” Tel Aviv, April 28 – The holder of ...
Read More »Israel Agrees To Provide Military Aid To Ukraine: Tractors To Tow Abandoned Russian Tanks
The equipment will also assist Ukraine in the identification and exposure of mass graves. Tel Aviv, April 28 – Months of pressure from Kiev and from other diplomatic and activist sources have persuaded the Ministry of Defense of the Jewish ...
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