IDF representatives continued the Israeli military’s anemic equivocation on the matter. Jenin, May 30 – Major media continued their uncritical parroting of anti-Israel propaganda today while treating Israeli claims with skepticism, with one leading outlet stating as fact that the ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionTantalus Glad At Least He Not Yair Lapid Chasing Premiership
“I think that’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard.” Tartarus, May 26 – A Greek demigod sentenced to have the objects of his fondest desires always eluding his grasp took solace today upon realizing that the fate of Israel’s current ...
Read More »Emptying Synagogue Won’t Deter Rabbi From Lengthy Sermon
“The place was packed before that, easily eighty or ninety people.” Jerusalem, May 26 – Friday evening services this past weekend saw a dramatic occurrence at a local house of worship, when manifest dissatisfaction evident in the steady stream of ...
Read More »Palestinian Cause Now Ranking Just Above Toenail Fungus In Regional Urgency
Obeisance to the sacred cow of Palestine First sparked resentment-tinged disdain for Palestinians whose cause always overshadowed the truly-important issues affecting the Middle East and the Arab world. Ramallah, May 25 – Shifting geopolitical considerations have wrought noticeable change in ...
Read More »Jewish Separation Of Meat/Dairy Proves Israel Is Apartheid
by Agnès Callamard, Amnesty International Director-General London, May 24 – An increasing number of international organizations have concluded that Israel’s unequal treatment of Palestinians under its jurisdiction qualifies as the same race-based system of oppression that characterized South Africa for ...
Read More »Hamas: NY’s East Side Access Delayed, Wasteful Because No Children Enslaved To Dig Tunnels
Other factors the consultants found include wasteful, redundant contracts, conflicting jurisdictions, and corruption, none of which went against the way Hamas does things in Gaza anyway. New York, May 23 – Consultants from the militant Islamist movement that governs the Gaza Strip ...
Read More »Israel Moves From COVID Tests To IQ Tests At Entry; Weeds Out 99% Of Anti-Zionists
“Our own citizens we can’t do anything about; heck, that’s our voter base.” Ben-Gurion Airport, May 19 – The Ministry of Health eliminated the requirement this week for all incoming passengers to undergo swabbing for the SARS-CoV-2 pathogen, instead leaving ...
Read More »Palestinian Islamic Jihad Introduces Uniforms With “PRESS” On Front
“There’s been no organized effort to kill reporters and blame Israel. That changes with this initiative.” Jenin, May 19 – A militant terrorist group focused on removing Jewish sovereignty from the Levant in the name of Allah has commissioned new ...
Read More »MKs Clinging To Power: Our Disastrous Policies Still Preferable To Elections That Would Trounce Us
“Anything has to be better than Netanyahu. Unless he offers me to share the premiership, which obviously is what the country needs, provided I get to go first.” Jerusalem, May 18 – Ministers and officials in the embattled government and ...
Read More »Alleged Descendants Of Khazars Not Real Jews But Descendants Of Islamic Conquest Forced Converts Welcome In Muslim-Only Mecca
“The Jews who came from Europe aren’t real Jews because their ancestors weren’t from here. Please ignore that my family name means ‘the Kurd.'” Jerusalem, May 17 – Activists stressed the important distinction today between the lack of ancestral legitimacy ...
Read More »