“Please respect our daughter’s privacy at this difficult time.” Jerusalem, December 22 – Relatives and friends gathered today to console a local ninth-grader who underwent the catastrophic experience today of having to transfer accumulated kitchen garbage from its receptacle in ...
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Feed SubscriptionFire Guts Hezbollah Warehouse Of Dolls For Use In Photos Of Bombed-Out Ruins
Hezbollah has staff dedicated to setting up and creating such photographs, then getting internationally trusted news outlets to carry them. Beirut, December 21 – A suspicious blaze struck a facility in the Lebanese capital yesterday where the Iran-backed Shiite militia ...
Read More »Gov’t Just Going To Assume At This Point Any Praise For It Ironic
“Probability alone militates against interpreting such praise as anything but biting commentary.” Jerusalem, December 20 – So unpopular has Prime Minister Naftali Bennett’s administration grown that its public relations personnel on both party and Coalition levels no longer seek to ...
Read More »Family Makes Aliyah Just To Escape All-Pervasive Christmas Music
While acknowledging Zionism in their upbringings, they talked mainly of getting the hell out of the dystopia. West Hempstead, December 19 – Saturation of the environment with “seasonal” songs has driven one homeowner in this Long Island hamlet, along with ...
Read More »Man Whose Ancestors Migrated From Arabia In 1800s Proud Of His Ancient Palestinian Indigeneity
The land was Jewish only starting about three and a half thousand years ago. Abu Dis, December 16 – A descendant of an influential Bedouin clan speaks of his prestigious origins at any given opportunity, observers report, especially their pedigree ...
Read More »‘Antizionism Not Antisemitism’ Claim Failing To Make Inroads Beyond Antisemities, Idiots
“I don’t think I will surprise anyone participating in this conversation when I say I know exactly (((who))) bears the blame for this state of affairs.” Brooklyn, December 15 – Opponents of Jewish sovereignty in the ancestral Jewish homeland voiced ...
Read More »The Lack Of Explicit International Law OKing Attacks On Jews Anywhere Is Just A Technicality
By Mohammed El-Kurd, activist Jerusalem, December 14 – People under foreign occupation have a right to resist that occupation, and, as pro-Palestinian apologists have long argued, that right extends to “by any means,” a phrase that my people have always ...
Read More »Post-Hanukkah Vow Not To Eat More Donuts Miraculously Lasts Almost 8 Days
“I took that as a heavenly sign endorsing my efforts to date, especially my efforts to find more donuts.” Jerusalem, December 13 – A resident who resolved to abstain from the deep-fried dough treats associated with the Jewish “Festival of ...
Read More »IDF Detention Facilities Rampantly Assuming Gender Of Palestinians
Progressive organizations followed up the letter with an online drive to get activists outside Israel to convey to their governments the importance of addressing the crucial issue of misgendered Israeli prisons. Ofer Prison, north of Jerusalem, December 9 – Human ...
Read More »Clown Troupe Cancels Show At Knesset, Citing Dignity Of Clown Shows
“Our dignity is precious enough to us that we will not perform at such a disgraceful venue, no matter what the cost.” Jerusalem, December 9 – An ensemble of garishly-painted, slapstick performers known for oversize shoes, exaggerated pratfalls, and a ...
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