“We need more dead cops, just as we need more dead Jews, if we are to make the world a better place.” Washington, October 13 – Just weeks after constituting the tiny congressional minority that opposed funding for Israel’s civilian ...
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Feed SubscriptionCareer Bureaucrat Defers To Career Politician On How To Raise Your Kids
“There are some things beyond even my purview,” conceded the fifteen-year government employee. Jerusalem, October 12 – A mid-level functionary in the government office that oversees education in the country acknowledged today her limited capacity and training vis-à-vis the schooling ...
Read More »Gabbai Trying To Convince Sixth Man He Actually Tenth
“It’ll only take five minutes,” Rosenberg added, bringing the number of falsehoods up to two. Jerusalem, October 11 – A synagogue functionary has mustered all of his powers of persuasion to convey to a passerby the foregone conclusion that a ...
Read More »New Service ‘Uber Alles Eats’ Takes Palestinian Territories By Storm
It resonates with Palestinians in ways that other, similar operations have failed to do. Hebron, October 10 – An entrepreneur with a keen sense of local cultural and political sensibilities launched a new operation last month that delivers restaurant and ...
Read More »Squad Disappointed Its ‘Bomb Jewish Institutions’ Bill Not Yet In Committee
Part of a larger initiative to make the country safer for progressive, tolerant values. Washington, October 7 – Several progressive members of the House of Representatives voiced frustration today that legislation they introduced earlier this session to authorize attacks against ...
Read More »Turns Out I’ve Been Filing All Your Redemption Prayers Under ‘Wayfarers Begging For No Rain’
by God Divine Throne Room, October 6 – OK so this is awkward. You know how in your Yom Kippur liturgy – I get that many of you tuned out or were otherwise engaged during this part of the service ...
Read More »US, Europe Hoping For Peaceful Transfer Of Political Repression After Abbas Dies
Much of Euro-American foreign policy over the last decades has relied on strongmen to impose decisions on the populace in the various non-democratic nations. Ramallah, October 5 – Supporters of the current Palestinian Authority president and his ruling faction remain wary ...
Read More »Local Naïf Thinks ‘After The Holidays’ Means Now
“If I call today I’ll probably be the first one to get an appointment in one of the prime time slots in that vast, empty schedule the clinic must have.” Jerusalem, October 4 – A resident of Israel’s capital city who ...
Read More »Palestinian Bureaucracy Stymies Opening Of ‘No-Kill’ Orphanage
The chief factor behind the repeated rejection involves the applicants’ principled refusal to bribe various Palestinian officials. Ramallah, September 30 – Humanitarian activists have failed yet again to penetrate the numerous layers of government oversight, regulation and approval plaguing this already-inefficient ...
Read More »Disaster Strikes At IfNotNow Simchat Torah Chametz Burning
INN selected the time and day to maximize the metaphorical impact of that’s when they could get everyone to commit to coming. New York, September 30 – A progressive organization seeking to harness its Jewish bona fides by tying its ...
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