“The honor-shame culture of the Arab and Islamic worlds doesn’t give way easily, but I think they’ll come around within a century.” Beirut, November 8 – Residents of the Levant and beyond, who have absorbed more than a century of ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionNY AG Investigates Unilever Over Ben & Jerry Being Insufferable
An intolerable level of sanctimony and self-righteous preening despite questionable progressive credentials. Albany, November 16 – New York State’s law enforcement arm began an inquiry into the international conglomerate that holds a controlling stake in an ice cream manufacturer with ...
Read More »If You Don’t Let Us Keep Our Land Free Of Jews, You’re Racist
By Mahmoud Abbas, President, Palestinian National Authority (State of Palestine) Ramallah, November 15 – My predecessor Yasser Arafat and I, along with numerous prominent Palestinians, have long proclaimed we will compromise on none of the rights that other peoples enjoy, ...
Read More »Investment Firms Compete For Best Stock-Picking Monkeys
Experts have known for years that monkeys pick stocks as well as experienced analysts. Tel Aviv, November 14 – Securities brokerages and bourse research companies in Israel’s financial and commercial capital began to implement new recruitment procedures today, in reaction ...
Read More »Mossad Running Short On Space To Store Stolen Iranian Rainclouds
“Our own distribution of rainfall is not calibrated to handle an overflow of this magnitude, even accounting for the capacity of the reservoirs behind dams we open each winter to flood the Gaza Strip.” Tel Aviv, November 11 – Israel’s secret intelligence ...
Read More »Activists Demand Chief Rabbi Position Be Opened To Muslims
Exclusive occupancy to date of that office by Jews provides a strong suggestion of discriminatory behavior on the part of those who elect that authority. Jerusalem, November 10 – Civil rights and equality NGOs petitioned the High Court today to ...
Read More »IMI Sues Kevlar Yarmulke Maker Over Use Of ‘Iron Dome’ Name
A spokesman for IMI stated that the firm will pursue an aggressive defense of its rights. Ramat HaSharon, October 31 – A government-owned Israeli corporation that manufacturers arms and other defense goods took legal action today against a producer of ...
Read More »Country That Kept Lights On To Help German Bombers Find London Upset That Israel Objects To Funding Terrorists
Evidence has so far failed to sway the leadership of a country that happily allowed German spies to attempt entry to Britain from its territory. Dublin, November 17 – An island state to the west of Britain whose government maintained ...
Read More »Palestine Activists Disappointed: Upcoming Kristallnacht Observance Not A Reenactment
“Now what are we going to do with all this gear?” Toronto, November 4 – Students and community figures devoted to fighting Zionism and anyone associated with the movement voiced a sense of letdown today upon discovering that this week’s ...
Read More »We Must Blame Religious Zionists For Rabin’s Assassination To Prevent Division And Hate
By Ofir Tzfonbon Tel Aviv, November 4 – Few moments in Israel’s history carry more power or trauma than does the murder of its prime minister in 1995; none others underscore the need to address the polarization of the country’s ...
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