“You have to have some backup plan, some go-to technique to deflect, distract, or delay until they get sidetracked.” Jerusalem, August 2 – With July gone and less than a month remaining until school reopens, a local primary school student ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionChild-Sacrificing Canaanites Reject Palestinian Time-Travelers As Too Barbaric
“They seemed to have this weird notion that there are limits on what you can do to children for the collective good.” Hinnom Valley, July 29 – A scientific effort to alter history to conform to a narrative under which Palestinians constitute ...
Read More »Consternation As Rabbinate Discovers Kashrut Cash Cow A T’reifah
It spells the end of a cash cow that the Rabbinate has milked for decades, relegating the institution to the more traditional Rabbinic role of not engaging in the flagrantly problematic dynamic of having a kashrut inspector draw a salary directly ...
Read More »Man Argues For Pepperoni Pizza Exception To Meat-Dairy Ban
“Ask for your manna to taste like it tomorrow and you’ll understand.” Wilderness of Sinai, July 28 – An Israelite studying the new set of laws that Moses transmitted to the people from the Almighty took issue today with the ...
Read More »Syrian Health Ministry: COVID Eliminated In Bombed-Out Areas
“Delta, lambda, whatever,” he pronounced with a wave of his hand. “Our robust strategy is more than a match for this virus.” Idlib, July 27 – Testing for coronavirus in an area contested by the Syrian Arab Army and insurgents ...
Read More »Rajoub Threatens To Pull Palestine Olympic Team Unless Allowed To Bomb Israeli Team
“I have a responsibility to ensure my athletes have a chance to compete, but they also have their pride.” Tokyo, July 26 – The head of the Palestinian Olympic Committee upped the ante on demands of the organizers of this ...
Read More »But My Fellow Rockets And I Were Just Getting To Like This Nice Family In Whose Home We’re Stored!
By Fajr-5 LMMC-6D33108B2 Gaza City, July 25 – It looks like my buddies and I may have worn out our welcome in this apartment, but not because of anything we did: public nervousness in the wake of a bunch of ...
Read More »Jerusalem Light Rail Passengers Grapple With Concept Of Let-Others-Off-Before-Boarding
Contrast this with even such untamed locations as the urban jungle of New York City, where almost by default, people waiting at a stop will form a neat line. Jerusalem, July 22 – Users of the electric trolley system in Israel’s capital ...
Read More »EU Furious: Terrorist Attacks It Funded Didn’t Kill Only Jews
“Operations that end up killing non-Jews, even if the latter carry Israeli citizenship, cannot and will not be tolerated.” Brussels, July 21 – European Commission officials voiced their shock and displeasure today at reports that monies they had provided to ...
Read More »Party Aims To Undermine Jewish State Via Behavior Showing Why Jewish State Necessary
A significant and powerful portion of the international community endorses that position. Umm el-Fahm, July 20 – A group of political leaders in Israel’s Arab sector maintained their longstanding position this week that a country designated as the nation-state of only one ...
Read More »