Visitors who did manage to get to the front before despairing still faced several classic hurdles of Israeli bureaucracy, including the old standby of demanding a document that none of the instructions called for. Jerusalem, August 31 – Management of ...
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Feed SubscriptionPalestinians Confused By Kabul Rockets Not Aimed At Israel
“They prioritize their rocket use for something other than killing Jews…?” Gaza City, September 30 – A series of attacks on Hamid Karzai International Airport by various militant Islamist groups has residents of this coastal enclave and others farther inland ...
Read More »Agatha Harkness To Deliver Every Gov’t COVID Statement
If successful, Ms. Harkness has agreed to expand her aegis to other government ministries and entities, the credibility and reliability of which she reflects so well. Jerusalem, August 29 – Israeli public health officials has launched a pilot program under which ...
Read More »Man Threatens To Cancel Subscription To Shul Newsletter
“I’ll give them till next week’s issue, because I know it’s short notice for this week, but then boom – I’m canceling.” Woodmere, August 26 – A synagogue member who feels that his house of worship’s weekly publication has taken ...
Read More »Israeli ‘Genocide’ Of Palestinians Seen As Model To Boost Population Growth
“We might just request that the IDF occupy us as well.” Amman, August 25 – Countries facing a demographic crisis now seek out the input of those responsible for genocide of the Palestinians in a decades-long process that has resulted ...
Read More »Squad Discovers Its Candidates Lose Elections When Opponents Allowed To Run
“The problem is there are other people running against our people.” Cleveland, August 24 – More than three weeks after a Democratic Party primary race for a crucial Congressional seat resulted in the victory of a mainstream, pro-Israel candidate over ...
Read More »I’m Moving On To Running Nursing Homes And Girls’ Schools For The NY Jewish Community
by former Governor Andrew Cuomo Albany, August 23 – My career in politics appears to have ended, at least for the short term. But every man needs purpose, and I believe I have found a purpose that will propel me ...
Read More »Virus Forgot To Check Political Affiliation Of Person It Just Infected
The virus has trouble determining its host’s politics in non-political settings. Tel Aviv, August 19 – A local pathogen confessed its chagrin today upon realizing that before invading the cells of its current host and hijacking their nucleic processes to ...
Read More »Hamas Urges *ALL* Its Foes To Get U.S. Training Like Afghans, Fatah
Hamas was among the first to congratulate the Taliban this week. Gaza City, August 19 – Leaders of the Islamist militant movement that governs this coastal territory have noticed the catastrophic track record of American efforts to produce quality military ...
Read More »Gov’t Runs Out Of Ways To Explain Ban On Temple Mount Jewish Prayer Without Phrase ‘Scared To Enforce The Law’
“If we do our jobs and have to face the violent mob, people might get killed and we might lose our jobs, which would be the biggest tragedy of all.” Jerusalem, August 18 – Enforcement officials acknowledged Tuesday that their ...
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