Much otherwise-valuable agricultural land remains inaccessible. Golan Heights, March 9 – Numerous areas of this elevated strategic plateau remain off-limits or hazardous to human passage because of the decades-old presence of antipersonnel explosive devices that once protected Israel’s frontiers with Syria ...
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Feed SubscriptionWoman Who Boasts House Already Clean For Pesach Thinks People Admire Her, Not Want To Strangle Her
Reactions included numerous “Likes” in which the irony failed to resonate. Teaneck, March 8 – Little more than a week after Purim, a local homeowner has managed to clear, vacuum, and scour her residence to rid it of foodstuffs forbidden ...
Read More »Bibi Mulls Courting Israeli Left By Emulating Biden, Sniffing Women’s Hair
Elections are scheduled for March 26. Caesarea, March 4 – Israel’s incumbent prime minister floated the idea today of appealing to segments beyond his traditional right-wing base by adopting some behaviors of the center-left American president, such as standing behind ...
Read More »COVID: ‘Green Pass’ Holders Allowed Entry Into Few Businesses That Remain
“We recommend visiting the site when fewer users are likely to be on, such as in four or five months.” Jerusalem, March 4 – The Ministry of Health launched a new initiative in the last several weeks, under which people carrying ...
Read More »Even Twice-Divorced Gingrich Impressed By Biden’s Abandonment Of Mideast Allies
Gingrich divorced his second wife in 1999, having led the GOP charge to impeach President Bill Clinton just a few years before over the latter’s marital infidelity while in office, all while the Speaker himself was conducting another such affair. ...
Read More »Scientists: Debate Over Palestinian Vaccine Responsibility Will Outlast Sun
Partisans will continue to talk past each other after the sun is a white dwarf. Pasadena, CA, March 2 – Astrophysicists predicted this week that the brouhaha concerning whether Israel must provide COVID immunizations to non-citizens living in areas under ...
Read More »We’re Sorry You Don’t Deserve Attention Because Your Occupation Isn’t Done By Jews
by The United Nations Human Rights Council Geneva, March 1 – Bureaucracy moves slowly by nature, but the time has come for us to apologize nevertheless: we, the members of the United Nations Human Rights Council, express our regret that ...
Read More »Suicide Bomber Hoping Work-From-Home Rules End Soon
He practiced a small detonation but injured his little brother. Hebron, February 25 – Citing what he calls the lockdown’s “devastating effect” on his family, a local resident who aspires to kill Israelis by detonating an explosive belt he wears ...
Read More »Ahashverosh Enlists J-Street To Oppose Temple Reconstruction
Ben-Ami’s organization rose to combat the common misperception that the Jews give monolithic support to their own redemption and restoration. Shushan, Achaemenid Empire, February 17 – The emperor issued a proclamation today boasting that his administration has earned the support ...
Read More »Court Dispenses With Pretense, Allows Arab Parties To Run Gangs, Intimidate Voters
“Why should Christians get to be the only ones who get to blame the Jews of all time for the imagined sins of a previous generation?” Jerusalem, February 24 – In a move that High Court justices explained will streamline ...
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