“It’s not like we’re rushing to throw our Jew-haters under the bus.” Washington, February 10 – Leading Congressional and White House figures sought to calm fears this week that the government’s adoption of the International Holocaust Remembrance Alliance working definition ...
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Feed SubscriptionState Dept. Lauds Iran’s Reuse Of Older Cranes To Hang Gays
“Enticing Iran back into the family of nations simply cannot happen if we demand that Iran act like it belongs in the family of nations.” Washington, February 9 – The Biden administration’s pivot on Middle East policy became further evident ...
Read More »God Unsure How To Make It More Explicit He In Favor Of Zionism
“The Zeroth Commandment is ‘Don’t be a goddamn imbecile.'” Divine Throne Room, February 8 – The Creator and Sustainer of all reality expressed frustration today upon discovering additional evidence that despite numerous clear passages in His revealed Word extoling Jewish ...
Read More »Biden Admin Hints At Selling F-35s To Iran Instead Of UAE
“Nothing in their rhetoric indicates they would make destructive use of such technology, provided you disregard about half their rhetoric and all of their actions.” Washington, February 7 – Senior administration officials suggested today that the review announced two weeks ago ...
Read More »Fringe Parties Warn Israeli Democracy In Peril If Fringe Parties Kept Out Of Power
“Don’t call us Kahanist! We’ve rebranded since the 1980’s and now we identify as an oppressed minority.” Tel Aviv, February 4 – Political groups at the extremes of Israeli society with a small following cautioned today that the representative, accountable ...
Read More »Study: Attacks On Jews Need ‘Context;’ Jewish Misdeeds Need None
The Konfirmation: Israelites Kommit Evil (KIKE) principle. Tel Aviv, February 4 – A survey of media principles covering violence between Jews and non-Jews revealed an underlying mechanism that offers a scientific explanation for the way journalists report on it, researchers disclosed today: ...
Read More »I Hope My Portion Of ‘Palestine Refugee’ Funding Gets Embezzled By Someone Cool
by Gigi Hadid New York, February 3 – My modeling career makes it unnecessary, unwise, and distracting to wade into politics, but now and then I cannot help but express my feelings on the plight of my Palestinian brethren. Chief among ...
Read More »‘Groundhog Day’ A Little Too On The Nose As Description Of Biden Iran Policy
Connors could swear we lived through this whole scenario already, and it didn’t turn out well. Punxsutawney, February 2 – Meteorologist Phil Connors acknowledged that the emerging policy of the new presidential administration toward the Islamic Republic of Iran and the ...
Read More »NGOs Demand Ethnicity Test Of West Bank Homebuilders To Weed Out Jews
“Jews are like cancer: you have to prevent the spread, or efforts to treat the existing tumor will prove fruitless.” Alon Shevut, Etzion Bloc, February 1 – Organizations that insist they work to advance human rights and combat bigotry put ...
Read More »God Fails To Get J Street’s Approval Before Promising Land To Jacob
“Making such a dangerous promise is a one-sided measure that establishes facts on the ground prejudicing the outcome of Israeli-Palestinian negotiations.” Beth El, January 28 – A group of left-wing American lobbyists voiced dismay today following a divine commitment to ...
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