A demonstration of how serious they are about enriching themselves on the backs of their constituents. Ramallah, April 27 – President Mahmoud Abbas of the Palestinian Authority and several other high-ranking officials in his kleptocracy took a page out of ...
Read More »Author Archives: Swidler
Feed SubscriptionOddsmakers Give Leftover Passover Food 1, Maybe 2 More Weeks In Fridge Before Disposal
“Who wants three-week-old meat when fresh chametz is all the rage?” Jerusalem, April 15 – Actuaries and gambling analysts released their predictions for the next week, including an item that gives a better-than-three-to-one likelihood that an aluminum pan of brisket ...
Read More »Feeling Persecuted Among Jews, Anti-Zionist Jews Wish For Some State Where They Might Find Refuge
Anti-Zionists fear that they cannot entrust their continued existence to the whims of the majority of their ethnic minority. Berkeley, April 14 – A group of Jews whose ideology denies the centrality, necessity, and morality of Jewish sovereignty, and thus ...
Read More »I Recommend The ‘Be Palestinian And Kill Some Jews’ Investment/Retirement Plan
by Richard Silverberg, Morgan Stanley investment consultant New York, April 13 – Hi, thanks for being so prompt. I know you two are trying to juggle a couple a of hectic schedules, so thank you for being prompt, and I ...
Read More »Every Kitchen Appliance Hiccup Now Making Ayatollah Uneasy
“He’s been acting weird lately,” admitted a staffer. “I mean, weirder than usual.” Tehran, April 12 – A series of suspected Israeli sabotage activities affecting Iran’s ability to project regional power and develop its nuclear weapons program have also engendered ...
Read More »Group Holding Soccer Games, Parkour On Temple Mount Worried About Jews Desecrating Place By Praying There
Presumptuous of Jews to think they can be not under Islamic domination. Jerusalem, April 8 – The Islamic council that administers the plateau they call the Haram al-Sharif, or Noble Sanctuary, and which endorses the use of the holy site ...
Read More »Netanyahu Strategy Apparently To Wear Everyone Out With Repeated Elections Till He The Only Voter Left
Experts differ on the timetable for that eventuality. Caesarea, April 8 – Yet another electoral stalemate in Israel has the citizenry bracing for another contest as early as this coming summer, which will mark the fifth time in four years ...
Read More »Biden Admin Sure Iran Doesn’t REALLY Mean All That Terrorism, Repression
“Please ignore the decade-plus of violent, brutal repression of internal dissent that’s been going on there, because, well, context or something.” Washington, April 1 – Foreign policy officials in the White House and State Department sought to reassure Americans and ...
Read More »Family Waiting Since Mid-Passover To Get Into Jerusalem Zoo Finally Reaches Front Of Line
“There are no bathrooms right outside the zoo, so let’s just say avoid that spot over there behind the trees.” Jerusalem, April 6 – A couple with four children who decided a visit to the city’s largest picturesque and eclectic ...
Read More »By Sheer Coincidence, Anti-Zionists Find Selves AGAIN In Company Of Uighur-Genocide Deniers, Assad Apologists
“We’re all just so morally… consistent, I guess, is the word.” New York, April 1 – For at least the sixth time this week, a group of activists opposed to the existence of a Jewish state just happened to express ...
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