BDS Subcontracts Economy-Destroying Work To Histadrut Labor Union

“We’re the people you want to get this kind of job done,” boasted chief Avi Nissenkorn. “We’ve been doing this for decades, and no one’s better at it.”

Ashdod Port, May 15 – Years of questionable success at crippling Israel’s economic position and prosperity have led the leaders of the Boycott, Divest, Sanctions (BDS) movement to engage Israel’s largest public-sector union in the effort, as the latter has a proven track record of damaging the country’s economy in ways the movement never could.

BDS movement founder Mustafa Barghouti told reporters today that the occasional triumph of bullying an entertainer not to perform in the Jewish state, or of ramrodding an anti-Israel resolution through an organ of student government on American campuses pales in comparison to the real damage the Histadrut causes with its work stoppages, extortion of taxpayer money, and entrenched ineffficiencies and corruption.

“We’re outclassed, plain and simple,” admitted Barghouti. “When we first launched this initiative in Durban, South Africa, seventeen years ago, most of us thought we’d have a much easier time scoring hits on Israel’s economy to punish the country for existing, but that’s been tougher than anyone anticipated. We’re a proud bunch of activists and organizations, but by now we’ve been forced to admit that we’ll never be able to compete with the Histadrut for negative impact on Israel’s economy. If you can’t beat ’em, join ’em, is what I’m saying.”

According to Histadrut representatives, the BDS leaders have hired union-picked cronies to design and implement a campaign to shut down various crucial elements of Israel’s public sector, an exercise the Histadrut performs with some regularity.

“We’re the people you want to get this kind of job done,” boasted chief Avi Nissenkorn. “We’ve been doing this for decades, and no one’s better at it.”

Barghouti pointed to his colleague Omar Barghouti (no relation) as an example of how to handle the apparent dissonance between calling for a boycott of Israelis and Israeli institutions and entering into a contract with an Israeli union. “Omar studied at Tel Aviv University while calling for the world to boycott Israel and Israeli universities,” he explained. “He pursued a degree in Political Science, which can then be used to better develop tools for undermining Israel, or at least that’s what he told me. Of course we’ve never worried too much about hypocrisy, considering no one who participates in our campaigns has ever forsworn Israeli technology or medical advances.”

Nissenkorn predicted the arrangement will get off the ground by the end of 2018, unless the union’s executive committee nixes it for not including enough guaranteed make-work jobs for Histadrut cronies.

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