Ben & Jerry’s To Change Name To Arabic To Shield Brand From Antsemitism Charges

US media fail to report official, widespread anti-Jewish messaging in the textbooks, popular culture, political rhetoric, and religious environments throughout the Arab and Islamic worlds.

Credit: Dismas via Wikipedia

Burlington, October 27 – An ice cream manufacturing company that got into hot water over demands that its distributor in Israel refuse to sell to Jews living beyond the 1949 armistice lines – while making no such demands of its contractors in places where human rights and international law violations occur with greater frequency, intensity, and number of victims – plans to change its moniker to Bin Jabari or something similar, so that activists will then ignore the anti-Jewish character of the company’s political attitudes as they do other instances of Jew-hate from the ethnic quarters the new name will evoke.

Unilever, Ltd., the international conglomerate that owns Ben and Jerry’s, is set to approve a name change to the brand that will recast the premium ice cream as the product of a Muslim-American enterprise and thus immune to charges of antisemitism, at least from one truculent part of the political activism spectrum. Board members expect the change to produce the desired result after decades of Arab and Muslim antisemitism being ignored, downplayed, explained away, or even justified in American media and punditry.

“We do not undertake rebranding lightly,” acknowledged one board member, who spoke on condition of anonymity. “Changes of this nature risk squandering years and years of accumulated consumer goodwill. But on balance, it seems a majority of us believe it more important to inoculate the brand against accusations of antisemitism, and it’s actually easier, and certainly less expensive, to protect ourselves with a Muslim-sounding name than to do the work necessary to actually get rid of the antisemitism in the company’s ranks.”

A second board member pointed as evidence to US and Western media in general failing to report with any diligence on official and widespread anti-Jewish messaging in the textbooks, popular culture, political rhetoric, and religious environments throughout the Arab and Islamic worlds. “It looks like a slam dunk that no one will care about Ben and Jerry’s’ antisemitism once it’s Bint Jamal or whatever,” she predicted.

Company executives will still have to decide whether Ben Cohen and Jerry Greenfield – the founders of the “woke” ice cream brand and still its official spokesmen, if no longer its owners – will remain in that capacity, take on Muslim identities, or be replaced by mascots from a demographic more in keeping with the name. Unconfirmed reports name as possible replacements such figures as Linda Sarsour, Louis Farrakhan, and a cartoon version of Iran’s Supreme leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.

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