Bethlehem Mohel Appalled At Sanitary Conditions Of Baby’s Manger

“If I didn’t know any better I’d wager these parents don’t expect the child to live out a full complement of years.”

Bethlehem, Judea, December 26 – A man who agreed to circumcise the newborn son of a couple in this town just south of Jerusalem expressed shock and disgust today at the germ-infested barn environment into which they delivered the child last night.

The unnamed Mohel made sure not to criticize the parents to their faces, conceding that they may not have had a choice of venue and that they have enough anxiety at the moment, but that other figures in their lives might help remedy the untenable hygiene situation.

“This is just appalling,” remarked the man. “I realize this is their first child, but really, you’d have to be living on some desert island somewhere not to realize no one has a baby in a manger. It’s infant mortality waiting to happen, not to mention horrible risk of infection for the mother. I don’t want to judge, obviously, but if I didn’t know any better I’d wager these parents don’t expect the child to live out a full complement of years, you know?”

The infant’s brit milah, as the circumcision rite is known in Hebrew, will take place on the eighth day after the boy’s birth, following the Biblical commandment from the book of Genesis. Cutting away the foreskin represents removal of barriers to close relationship between Man and God; the baby’s father made inquiries last night, soon after ensuring his postpartum wife and the child were safe and comfortable, to arrange for the ceremony to take place as planned. He found a mohel willing to check on the baby and use his experience and expertise to examine the child and determine whether the circumcision can take place as planned, or whether ill health will delay it. A visit to the manger where the baby was born left the mohel shaking his head.

“He seems healthy enough, but that’s far too filthy an environment for a newborn,” he continued. “I’ll have to come back a few more times to make sure that doesn’t change, what with jaundice and all. Also, there’s too much hustle and bustle where the mother should be spending a quiet few days bonding with her baby. Those weird foreign guys bearing myrrh or whatever might mean well, but the last thing the mother needs right now is pressure to play hostess, no matter how much anyone who shows up reassures her she doesn’t need to. She needs rest and maybe a meal train. Receiving visitors should be the last thing on her to-do list.”

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