Biden Administration Still Scandal-Free

“It feels good to have left the whole era of Fake News behind.”

Washington, January 21 – Media personalities and commentators marveled today at the lack of corruption and controversy of the current presidential administration, already more than a thousand minutes into its term.

President Joseph R. Biden took office at midday Wednesday, at which point journalists and pundits across the country began to notice a sharp shift in the atmosphere as the turmoil of the previous four years disappeared, the environment began to recover, peace broke out all over, and, most notably, not a single scandal has tarnished the White House since the inauguration back on the twentieth of January 2021.

“It’s such a breath of fresh air,” gushed CNN host Jake Tapper. “I can’t remember the last time we had a stretch in which we weren’t finding constant evidence of presidential malfeasance. Now we have time to focus on other important issues, as we did during the Obama administration, such as the style choices of the vice president, and carrying water for the administration’s policies. I, for one, can’t wait to get back to the politics as usual of shilling for the Iran nuclear deal.”

“It’s not just the absence of scandal under the current president that we must note,” agreed MSNBC commentator Rachel Maddow. “We have to acknowledge the achievements of this administration in such a short time – all the people vaccinated so far against COVID, for example. All the peace agreements in the Middle East – we can’t forget the momentum in that direction that Biden and Company have created. And did you see that patriotic display of unity at the inauguration? It’s a stroke of brilliance, if you ask me, after four years of divisiveness, to unite the entire country, all eighty million Americans who voted Democratic in November 2020.”

“What I find amazing,” added New York Times columnist Charles Blow, “is just how thoroughly things have changed since the change of office. I don’t have to write any more columns invoking segregation, the Ku Klux Klan, or Goebbels ever again. It feels good to have left the whole era of Fake News behind.”

Blow, Maddow, Tapper, and others also noted an important shift that has taken place since before Biden’s presidency formally began, but which already began to emerge in November 2020: whereas under Trump, questioning the legitimacy and legality of presidential election results, with heavy doses of accusation or insinuation that malign, foreign forces skewed the result, was worthy of sustained media attention, Biden’s victory heralded a swift rehabilitation of all the systems, tools, methods, and institutions that until then had performed so questionably.

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