Bin Laden Blending In Seamlessly In Bnei Brak

Saddam Hussein is similarly living unmolested in the area.

Bnei Brak, September 10 – Four years after his death was faked at a villa in Pakistan, 9/11 mastermind Osama Bin Laden has made a smooth transition to the lifestyle of a Haredi Israeli.

The Saudi billionaire-turned-terrorism-financier-turned-ultra-Orthodox-Jew seldom ventures out of this city near Tel Aviv, since everything an observant Jew needs can be found within walking distance here. When he does, however, Bin Laden – who now goes by the name Asher Bienenfeld – must make sure to remain in typical Haredi attire. In the standard navy or black suit and black fedora, no one gives Bienenfeld a second look, and almost no one notices the bearded visage of the man widely considered responsible for the deaths of 3,000 people fourteen years ago. However, to eyes prepared to see individuality in the sea of black hats and frocks, the infamous face has barely changed.

After pretending to be on the run from US intelligence for a decade, the lifelong Mossad agent tasked with plunging the Muslim world into chaos via outright conflict with the West decided he wanted a quieter life, and his supervisors obliged him: they arranged for a Navy SEAL team to stage a raid on a safe house in Abbottabad, Pakistan, have a firefight, and spirit away both the living agent and his bullet-riddled body double, a Chicago drug dealer no one would miss, named Vince Foster. Foster’s body was weighted and dumped into the Indian Ocean, while Bin Laden-Bienenfeld was smuggled into Israel aboard a vessel from the US Navy’s Sixth Fleet during one of its regular stops in Haifa.

The beard is grayer, the face more lined, and the eyes shine with less defiance than in the old photos and videos, but the body language and smile are eerily familiar. Bienenfeld consented to give an interview to PreOccupied Territory, but insisted on editing out any information that might compromise the agents who recruited the hijackers for that fateful mission. He did, however, feel it safe to let on that Saddam Hussein was similarly living unmolested in the area, and the two of them occasionally got together to swap stories about the old days as agents provocateurs, the best of the best at making the Muslim world look backward, corrupt, genocidal, and brutal.

“At a certain point our work was done – Shimmy’s a few years earlier, obviously,” said Bienenfeld, referring to Hussein by his real name, Shimon Heschel. “We managed, with the help of a few other high-ranking ‘Muslim’ leaders working for the Mossad, to be so successful that they don’t need us anymore. That Baghdadi character – the guy running the Islamic State – I have no idea who he is, but if his organization is what grew out of our efforts, I’d say we did a good job.”

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