Brawl At Gaza Birthday Party Over Who Gets To Blow Out Balloons

“It’s usually not a big deal – I mean, balloons are for burning, or at least attaching burning things to.”

Khan Younis, June 18 – Tension gripped this refugee-camp-cum-urban-jungle this afternoon following an outbreak of violence at a celebration for a local boy’s tenth birthday where an argument over who got to extinguish the flaming balloons led to a neighborhood-wide donnybrook that injured dozens.

Hospital and medical officials reported that at least ten wounded adults and six wounded children – one with serious burns to his face and arms – came to local clinics for treatment Sunday afternoon and evening, in the aftermath of a tenth-birthday party at the home of a child whom officials declined to identify. Witnesses recounted a fracas that began when the parent of one boy insisted that the birthday boy relinquish the traditional privilege of blowing out the burning helium balloons in favor of his nephew, whose father was injured preparing similar balloons to release over the border at Israeli fields and brush.

Initial reports indicate that other children and parents resisted the demand, while several supported it, and the shouting soon gave way to thrown chairs, grabbed hair, fisticuffs, and blows with various blunt objects. Word of the altercation spread through the immediate area and partisans of both camps joined in, resulting in carnage not seen in Khan Younis since Israeli airstrikes hit Hamas and Islamic Jihad positions here during the 2014 war.

“It’s usually not a big deal – I mean, balloons are for burning, or at least attaching burning things to,” remarked a neighbor who requested not to be identified for fear of retribution from partisans of the opposing faction. “But you have to let a little kid have his day in the sun – does that man think his brother is the only guy in Gaza releasing flaming balloons and kites at the Jews?”

“This isn’t a time for pretending things are the way they should be,” argued another, opposing resident. “Now is the time to show solidarity with the brave men trying to burn the farmland of the country we love so much. We love it so much we’ll destroy it if we can’t be the ones to control it. If we can place children in the line of fire to protect our valiant fighters, we can surely force them to sacrifice blowing out the traditional flaming birthday balloons to honor those engaged in the noble work of destroying food and trees.”

Residents voiced confusion at the suggestion that birthday celebrants use candles. “That’s crazy,” remarked more than one. “You can’t burn down Jewish homes and farms with just a birthday candle.”

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