Campus Activists In Bind As Leadership Of Decimated Hezbollah Passes To Netanyahu

Implications still unclear, if Hezbollah in disarray already.

Cambridge, Massachusetts, October 21 – Israel’s steady elimination of high- and middle-ranking figures in the Shiite militia that controls Lebanon on behalf of the Islamic Republic of Iran has led to a peculiar succession situation in which the prime minister of Israel now holds the reins in the organization, leading supporters of the “Islamic Resistance” to Israel confused as to whether to continue their work on behalf of the group.

Students for Justice in Palestine activists and their comrades from allied movements here at Harvard and across the US and Canada voiced disbelief, confusion, and discouragement this week following revelations that the complicated path of the mantle of Secretary General of Hezbollah now rests with Binyamin Netanyahu.

“Wait, what? That can’t be right,” responded SJP activist Ayama Doop. He began to shake. “That… I mean, I know there’s no one left senior enough to take over for… no, it can’t be! Fake news! Disinformation!”

Doop covered his ears and started yelling, “I can’t hear you!” over and over again as he stomped away.

The Islamic Revolutionary Guard Corps – the Tehran-based organization that bankrolls, trains, and supplies Iran’s various proxy terrorist organizations in the region – has so far failed to address this unforeseen development in Hezbollah leadership succession, in part, experts believe, because Israel has wrought similar damage to that umbrella group.

“It’s not entirely clear at this point whether Israel knew this would happen,” explained analyst Will Probate. “The permutations of the shifting, complicated pre- and post-assassination of [erstwhile Hezbollah Secretary-General Hassan] Nasrallah picture couldn’t have been clear before this all started, and the chaos of the ongoing war must have made things even murkier.”

In practical terms, Netanyahu’s official new status of Secretary-General of Hezbollah will have little impact on the organization’s activities, observers believe, given that all the Israeli operations since the start of the the current violent flare-up last October have degraded Hezbollah command-and-control capacities to an unprecedented degree: Israeli infiltration, or the mere threat of Israeli infiltration, of Hezbollah’s communications network drove the organization to seek lower-tech, hack-proof solutions that Israel, through its intelligence agency Mossad, tricked them into buying from an Israeli shell company – and then detonated thousands of the devices all at once, decimating Hezbollah’s commanders; that masterstroke took place alongside with continuing Israeli airstrikes on senior and mid-level Hezbollah strategic and tactical personnel.

“I guess Netanyahu better tighten up his own security, though,” Probate surmised. “Senior Hezbollah figures aren’t advised to buy green bananas of late.”

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