Washgington, DC, January 1 – The visionary behind the global peacemaking organization the League of Nations is urging Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas to join the League in the aftermath of a failed bid to have the United Nations Security Council ...
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Feed SubscriptionAncient Jews Conspired To Legitimize Modern Settlements
Shiloh, Occupied West Bank, December 24 – Archaeologists have unearthed a vast conspiratorial effort by ancient Israelites to make Jews living in Palestine 3,000 years later look indigenous, scholars are reporting. Over the last century and a half, diggers have ...
Read More »Messiah Thwarted By Lone Jew Violating Sabbath
An attempt to fulfill the millennia-old dream of ushering in the messianic age by having all Jews observe a single Sabbath was spoiled this Saturday by Morty Hope, a 41-year-old Jew from Anchorage, Alaska, who violated the holy day by ...
Read More »Archaeologists Find The Synagogue King David Would Not Attend
“…this house of prayer to YHWH our God, made by the King David so that the king use the other house of prayer located…” Jerusalem, October 20 – Excavators working to the south of the Old City have discovered what ...
Read More »Man Unsure Whether Israel Like Hitler Or Hitler Was Right
Alexandria, Egypt, August 31 – Mohammad El-Bir is your typical blue-collar Egyptian: struggling economically, hoping for political stability, and certain that Israel is the chief cause of the world’s problems. Pictures of the recent carnage in the Gaza Strip, however, ...
Read More »Armenian Genocide Victims Ask What Palestinians Have Been Smoking
Istanbul, May 21 – Armenians mass-murdered by Turks during and immediately following the First World War are expressing disgust and shock at Palestinian claims that Israel targets them for genocide, and wonder what controlled substances the Palestinians have been ingesting ...
Read More »Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai Disgusted By Marshmallows
Meron, Israel, May 19 – The morning after the annual bonfire festivities in honor of Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai, the revered second-century sage expressed revulsion at the practice of using the bonfire flames to roast, Lord help us, marshmallows. Hundreds ...
Read More »Heavenly Bodies Still Adjusting To Heliocentrism
The orbits of the planets were originally described as circular, but in the last few centuries they have shifted to more elliptical paths, indicating an ongoing adjustment to the cosmic changes. The Milky Way, October 15 – It has been ...
Read More »Europe Running Out Of Jewish Tombstones To Deface
Tatabanya, Hungary, March 18 – Antisemitic vandals spray-painted swastikas and slogans all over the Jewish cemetery here last week, stoking worries among Europe’s far-right leadership that they face a looming shortage of such sites to deface. The desecration highlights the ...
Read More »Ottomans, British Apparently Unaware Palestine Actually Sovereign The Whole Time
London – Palestinian historians examining the administration of the Holy Land during the British and Ottoman periods have discovered that the rulers of that land remained completely oblivious to the fact that they were not really the ones in charge. ...
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