“God saw that it was good,” He declared with the hint of a smile on His lips. Rome, September 10 – The Son of God called on Pope Francis this morning, and on his way through the portions of Vatican ...
Read More »Category Archives: Book 2
Feed SubscriptionSanhedrin Enacts 40 Lashes For ‘Liking’ Instead Of Retweeting
The Sanhedrin voted 70-1 in favor of the motion. Jerusalem, August 27 – The highest court in Jewish Law has decreed that Twitter users who click “Like” on a tweet when no compelling reasons exist for any response other than ...
Read More »Jesus Agrees Beatles More Popular
“You do Me no favors by showcasing your insecurity over the observations of a celebrity.” Jerusalem, August 16 – Jesus Christ, son of God, the Prince of Peace, King of the Jews, Messiah and Savior, shrugged His shoulders today and ...
Read More »Palestinian Ancestry Traced To Khazars
There is a direct male lineage traceable in seventy-five percent of Palestinians to the Khazars. Stockholm, August 10 – In what scholars are calling an upheaval in demographic research, a new study has determined that the modern Palestinian population descends from a ...
Read More »I Take It All Back. I Am So, So Sorry. by Muhammad The Prophet
I should have foreseen how my system in the inevitable wrong hands would produce such horrors. It’s been more than a thousand years since my followers swept across the Middle East and North Africa, even into Europe, and down into ...
Read More »Talmud Scholars Look To Hate Groups For Passages They Didn’t Know Existed
“I’m curious, and eager to examine those passages in the original Aramaic,” admitted Dina de Garmi of the University of Bologna, Italy. New York, June 14 – Experts in the body of Jewish law and lore called the Talmud voiced ...
Read More »Devout Crustian Awaits Second Crumbing
Her Pontius Pie Plate has become popular. Patty Kaik is in many ways your typical Crustian: flaky with a passion for cheeses. But her devotion to the cause makes even many of her peers sit up and take notice. Ms. ...
Read More »Group With 75% Lactose Intolerance Has Holiday Devoted To Eating Dairy
The ability to digest dairy products beyond infancy results from a genetic mutation uncommon among Jews. Teaneck, May 28 – Staff at the Butterflake Bakery in this Bergen County, New Jersey township are noting the usual uptick in cheesecake purchases in ...
Read More »‘Original’ Sin Actually Quite Derivative
“Been there, done that.” Jerusalem, May 23 – Scholars of religion have discovered that what many adherents of religious faith call “Original” Sin in fact represents a phenomenon that existed well before the Sin’s ostensible beginnings. Religious historians and theologians ...
Read More »Lag BaOmer: Celebrating When Rabbi Shimon Shot An Apple Off His Son’s Head
Oblique metaphoric references to Rashbi’s feat with the apple have found their way into Jewish mystical sources, in which Rabbi Shimon is a seminal figure. Meron, May 14 – Hundreds of thousands of Jews gathered this weekend at the traditional ...
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