Previous customers remain unavailable for inquiries into the phenomenon. Tehran, December 2 – Entrepreneurs in this city’s document production and processing industry have noticed a sharp dropoff in the number of customers who seek to advertise expertise in the field ...
Read More »Category Archives: Defense
Feed SubscriptionHamas Grantwriter Can’t Believe He Needs To Submit ANOTHER Proposal To EU For Rebuilding Attack Tunnels
“I can see it now: ‘Add ten percent overhead and administrative expenses and have that proposal on my desk by Friday.'” Gaza City, November 23 – Following the overnight destruction by the IDF of multiple terrorist infrastructure facilities, an administrative ...
Read More »IDF Unsure Whether Riots A Palestinian ‘Day Of Rage’ Or Just Thursday
The intensity of the violence provided no clear indication. Kibbutz Zikkim, Gaza Envelope, November 12 – Israeli soldiers patrolling the fence between this southern region and the Gaza Strip expressed uncertainty today in response to a reporter’s question as to the ...
Read More »Scientists Glimpse Israeli Genocide Of Palestinians In Other Universe Where It Actually Happened
Analysts differ on which Nobel Prize the discovery merits: physics, peace, or literature. Cambridge, MA, November 3 – Researchers reported this week they have managed what many are calling a tantalizing look into a long-theorized dimension of existence outside our own, in ...
Read More »Socially-Distanced Riots Hamper Terrorists Trying To Hide Among Civilians
Palestinian restrictions on conduct in the public space makes it difficult for significant numbers of violent demonstrators to use women and children as human shields. Nebi Saleh, October 22 – Palestinian stone- and firebomb-throwers confronting Israeli troops in and near ...
Read More »Palestinian Prisoners On Zoom Via Smuggled Phones Unsure Whether Israel Jamming Or Platform Just Sucks
Never attribute to bad luck or to incompetence what can be attributed to Jewish perfidy. Ofer Prison, October 14 – Inmates at this IDF-administered detention facility north of Jerusalem who rely on contraband mobile devices to keep in touch with ...
Read More »Hamas Ask What Point Of Sukkah If Not To Keep Weapons Near Kids
“You don’t exploit that crowded situation to turn the wife, kids, and sisters into human shields? What kind of warped thinking is that? Gaza City, October 1 – Members of the militant Islamist group that rules this coastal Mediterranean territory ...
Read More »Hamas Trying To Increase Balloon-Bomb Range To Reach UAE, Bahrain
Hitting the desert in eastern Jordan or northern Saudi Arabia isn’t going to satisfy Hamas, because there are no forests, brush, or day care enters to set on fire there. Gaza City, September 17 – The militant Islamist organization that ...
Read More »NGOs Could Swear They Saw Palestinian Veto Of Arab-Israel Normalization Enshrined In International Law Somewhere
“It’s all political, and if an Arab country wants to normalize, they can just do it? That can’t be.” New York, September 8 – Human Rights groups, pro-Palestinian activists, and other figures remain convinced they can find a provision in ...
Read More »Hipster Terrorist Insists Was Just Stabbing Jews Ironically
Police and prosecution officials expect the case to go to trial, at which they will seek an ironic sentence of life imprisonment. Petach Tikva, August 26 – The Palestinian killer of a 46-year-old Israeli father of four claimed today that ...
Read More »