“You don’t exploit that crowded situation to turn the wife, kids, and sisters into human shields? What kind of warped thinking is that? Gaza City, October 1 – Members of the militant Islamist group that rules this coastal Mediterranean territory ...
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Feed SubscriptionHamas Trying To Increase Balloon-Bomb Range To Reach UAE, Bahrain
Hitting the desert in eastern Jordan or northern Saudi Arabia isn’t going to satisfy Hamas, because there are no forests, brush, or day care enters to set on fire there. Gaza City, September 17 – The militant Islamist organization that ...
Read More »NGOs Could Swear They Saw Palestinian Veto Of Arab-Israel Normalization Enshrined In International Law Somewhere
“It’s all political, and if an Arab country wants to normalize, they can just do it? That can’t be.” New York, September 8 – Human Rights groups, pro-Palestinian activists, and other figures remain convinced they can find a provision in ...
Read More »Hipster Terrorist Insists Was Just Stabbing Jews Ironically
Police and prosecution officials expect the case to go to trial, at which they will seek an ironic sentence of life imprisonment. Petach Tikva, August 26 – The Palestinian killer of a 46-year-old Israeli father of four claimed today that ...
Read More »IDF Shooting Airborne Children’s Toys In, Around Gaza
The destruction also targets condoms, a move that human rights groups characterize as an Israeli effort to spread sexually-transmitted diseases in Gaza. Gaza Envelope, August 24 – Israel’s military keeps taking aim at Palestinian toys for children and using either bullets or lasers ...
Read More »Blockade Forces Gaza Car Dealer To Sell BMWs Only To Wealthy
Israel allows in only those goods and materials that have no clear military use, but limits the quantity thereof to however much the people of Gaza want to bring in and pay for. Rafah, August 13 – An entrepreneur in ...
Read More »UN Silent As Israel Again Shoots Down Helpless Hamas Missiles
“Defenseless missiles get blasted out of the sky by monstrous creations of imperialist powers hell-bent on repressing the legitimate resistance of oppressed peoples to settler-colonialism.” Sderot, August 4 – Human rights and pro-Palestinian activists fumed today at the international community’s ...
Read More »Successful Syrian Interceptions Of IAF Listed With UFO, Bigfoot Sightings
“I’m excited about this addition,” gushed Gimlin Patterson, a cryptozoology documentary filmmaker. Damascus, July 23 – Cryptozoologists and other enthusiasts of paranormal phenomena have begun including Assad regime claims of thwarted Israeli airborne operations in their logs of unconfirmed-but-definitely-real incidents, ...
Read More »In Latest Iran Defense Disaster, IRGC Radios Playing Only Accordion Music
“Everything is a goddamn polka.” Tehran, July 15 – The Islamic Republic’s ongoing security debacles continued Wednesday with reports that the regime’s main military and strategic arm finds itself in the midst of a communications breakdown as a result of ...
Read More »Mossad Hints At Responsibility For Gas Buildup In Ayatollah’s Gut
Security stinks. Tel Aviv, July 6 – Offhand comments by senior Israeli intelligence officials today appeared to allude to an element of Israel’s alleged ongoing operations inside the Islamic republic of Iran to degrade that foe’s weapons capability across the ...
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