"Those who have made the criticisms... have confused supporting functions with core functions."
Read More »Red Cross: Demanding Access To Hostages Would Undermine Core Work Of Empowering Terrorists
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Hezbollah Hails Glorious Drone Operation Against Israeli Apple Tree
"I hesitate to cite exact numbers, but how many more apple trees does the enemy possess?"
Read More »IDF Bulldozers Clearing Rafah Buffer Zone Find Your Phone Charger
The discovery complicates friends' expectations that you will buy a new one instead of using theirs.
Read More »Hamas Didn’t Realize Opening Gates Of Hell Was For Entry Only
"Not a metaphor, but also, yes, a metaphor," Beelzebub stated.
Read More »Foes Thought Mass Flight Of Israelis They Imagined Post-10/7 Would Dent Population By Now
"Our premises can't be wrong - those are axiomatic," he explained, detailing the difficulty.
Read More »Uncoordinated Assassination Squads Gave Arafat’s Polonium Poisoning AIDS
The man died from a boring old infection a few months later instead.
Read More »Monster Under Gaza Child’s Bed Cramped By Hamas Tunnel Shaft
"I can't do my job under these conditions."
Read More »Visitors At Hamas Booth At Columbia Job Fair Disappointed By Lack Of Sloganeering Positions
"I thought my experience holding a janitor hostage would be an asset."
Read More »‘Your Violence Just Creates More Enemies’ Argument Used Only Against One Side
"Houthis fail to appreciate is that they only spawn more Israeli soldiers with each drone launch at Israel," not a single diplomat has observed.
Read More »Israel Refuses To Stop Gaza Genocide Happening In Imagination Of Haters
Imaginary IDF atrocity after imaginary atrocity has driven the activists to extreme levels of frustration.
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