“We’re preparing for anything,” intoned a grim Lt. General Gadi Eizenkot, the IDF Chief of Staff. Tel Aviv, December 8 – As IDF units undergo training to prepare for an anticipated forced evacuation of the Amona settlement outpost, a separate ...
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Feed SubscriptionSoon-To-Be-Drafted North Tel Aviv High Schoolers Ask Whether IDF Provides ‘Safe Space’ For Progressives
“The army has to understand that feelings are the most important thing.” Ramat Aviv, December 4 – A group of twelfth-graders in an upscale section of Israel’s hippest metropolis spent time this afternoon discussing their upcoming military service, and inquired ...
Read More »Kosher Meals Unavailable On Board F-35
“It’s all part of a general cost-cutting trend in aviation that’s been going on for years already.” Tel Nof Air Base, November 29 – The most expensive and advanced fighter aircraft in the world is still unable to provide accommodation ...
Read More »Couple Boinking Inside IDF Tank Say Serving Together In It Would Just Be Too Awkward
“If we end up spending hours, even days at a time in this thing? Goodbye romance, I can tell you that.” Latrun, November 23 – Two IDF soldiers getting busy inside a Mark-II Merkava Main Battle Tank told reporters today ...
Read More »Rabbinate Proposes Mechitza In Tanks To Facilitate Mixed-Sex Crews
The same kind of divider has facilitated the presence of both males and females in the same prayer space while maintaining dignified separation. Tel Aviv, November 21 – Amid resurgent controversy over the integration of women into military combat roles, ...
Read More »Polls That Saw Clinton Victory Just Israeli Ruse To Break Palestinian Morale
Officials characterized the complex set of operations as a masterpiece. Tel Aviv, November 16 – Israeli Ministry of Defense and intelligence officials voiced satisfaction today after a post-mortem assessment of their clandestine activities related to the American presidential election, an ...
Read More »Mossad Pronounces New Election-Fixing Technology A Success
The section chief praised her staff for completing the project ahead of schedule and under budget. Tel Aviv, November 9 – Developers and project leaders at Israel’s secret intelligence service gathered today to celebrate the first successful field test of ...
Read More »UN: Abraham Used Excessive Force In Pursuing 4 Armies With His 318 Men
His campaign succeeded in seizing all the booty and prisoners taken by the four kings and their troops, at what the Human Rights Council has now called a disproportionate price. Oaks of Mamre, November 7 – The United Nations Human ...
Read More »Tower Of Babel Clearly A Zionist Plot To Sow Division
The Zionist movement and global Jewry can now exploit the ensuing instability to consolidate assets and power. Land of Shinar, November 3 – Evidence is emerging that the failure of the collaborative project known as the Tower of Babel was ...
Read More »Heads To Roll At Mossad After Earthquake Hits Italy Instead Of Ramallah
Operation Re’ida was intended to sow further instability in Palestinian-administered territories by crippling Ramallah’s infrastructure. Tel Aviv, October 30 – Officials at Israel’s intelligence and clandestine operations agency promised a full inquiry today after the device intended to inflict an ...
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