“We really must develop a coherent approach to this problem, because it’s not going to go away. I mean, it will, and that’s the problem, but – you know what I mean.” Jerusalem, May 30 – Three teenage suspects in the ...
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Feed SubscriptionIDF Reminds Soldiers Not To Leave Base Without Towel On May 25
An IDF-issue towel of the appropriate color will replace the requisite beret. Tel Aviv, May 25 – The IDF senior command and officials at the Ministry of Defense issued a reminder today that all personnel are to keep on their ...
Read More »Incoming Defense Minister Has Never Denied Eating Palestinian Children
“I have never seen Liberman in the same room as the infamously bloodthirsty Vlad Dracula.” Jerusalem, May 20 – Israeli Prime Minister Binyamin Netanyahu is expected to announce in the next day or two that he has appointed as Minister ...
Read More »Hackers To Undermine Israel By Attacking Dry-Cleaner Website
The move is part of an upcoming attempt to bring Israel to its knees. Iata, Palestinian Territories, May 16 – Members of the clandestine hacker collective known as Anonymous hatched a plan this week to take down the institutions and ...
Read More »UN: Israel Independence Day Fireworks Noise ‘Collective Punishment’
“The noisy displays rub salt in the collective would inflicted by Israel when the latter refused to be pushed into the sea.” Geneva, May 13 – The United Nations Human Rights Council again weighed in against Israel today, calling Wednesday ...
Read More »Apparently, ‘A Stone’s Throw’ Supposed To Be Metaphor
“It just never occurred to any of us to take the term at anything but face value,” said Academy spokeswoman Yirga Muhu. Jerusalem, May 9 – Linguistic researchers at the Academy of the Hebrew Language were stunned this week to discover that ...
Read More »Suicide Bomber Attack At Mos Eisley Cantina
A Hamas poster named the bomber as Jarjar al-Binki, 25, of the Shati refugee camp in the Gaza Strip. Mos Eisley, Tatooine, May 4 – A Palestinian suicide bomber detonated his explosive belt inside a landmark watering hole last night, ...
Read More »Shock As Soldiers Not Arrested For Shooting Attackers
Yaalon said the IDF cannot sink to the level of its enemies by actually killing people. Kalandia Checkpoint, April 27 – Hours after a pair of Palestinian siblings attacked soldiers here with knives and were shot in the attempt, the ...
Read More »Iron Dome To Ignore Rockets Headed For Haaretz Building
The move will help the unit operating the Iron Dome to conserve energy and resources that would be put to better use defending parts of Tel Aviv that actually matter. Tel Aviv, April 20 – Israel Defense Force technicians have ...
Read More »Sporadic Stabbings Mysteriously Fail To Cause Millions of Israelis To Flee
Despite decades of Arab terrorism, protests, and international opprobrium, Israel has only grown in population, economic strength, and military power. Ramallah, April 13 – Palestinian strategists are scratching heir heads at the latest statistics showing that despite six months of ...
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