“It’s hard for me to grasp how absolutely everyone in this unit made the same exact fashion choice.” Nitzanim, May 21 – New recruit 18-year-old Ori Harari expressed dismay and shock that everyone in his unit seems to have worn ...
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Feed SubscriptionIAF Now Just Trolling Sudan With Fake Explosions
The officer declined to give specifics on how the IAF would accomplish its task, but some experts pointed to strong evidence that Israel had developed mass mind-control techniques. Khartoum, May 15 – Hysteria surrounding repeated rumors and reports of explosions resulting ...
Read More »IDF Imposes Comfort Zone Around Gaza
“Coupled with the fatalism that life in Gaza under Hamas generates, this is a natural proving ground for the use of a comfort zone.” Kibbutz Nirim, Israel, May 6 – Israeli efforts to prevent the infiltration of Palestinian fighters from ...
Read More »IDF Declares Cover-Up Of Earthquake Device A Success
The earthquake was probably deemed necessary to distract from Zionist and Jewish conspiratorial efforts to seize control of certain vital natural resources elsewhere in the world. Kathmandu, Nepal, April 30 – Commanders of the ostensibly medical IDF mission to Nepal ...
Read More »Israel Denying Armed Infiltrators Freedom Of Movement
Israel violates the right to freedom of movement of people attempting to move their valuable ammunition and weaponry out of troubled areas such as the Gaza Strip, Syria, and Lebanon. Ein Zivan, Golan Heights, April 28 – Israel continued this week ...
Read More »Obama Vows ‘Ironclad’ Support Of Israel If Israel Destroyed By Iran
Israeli officials had no direct comment on the matter, as none were invited to the meeting. Washington, April 21 – President Barack Obama sought to reassure Israel and its allies in the US that an impending deal with Iran over ...
Read More »Hamas Upgrading Human Dome Defense System
Hamas retains a sizable pool of humans with which to equip its low-tech system. Gaza City, April 14 – Military observers are reporting that Hamas, the militant Islamist movement that runs the Gaza Strip, appears to be rebuilding and improving its ...
Read More »Iran Using Your Mom’s Dense Matza Balls To Protect Centrifuges
If they can pull this off, the Islamic Republic will be sitting pretty, knowing they can protect sensitive facilities from almost any foreign airborne threat. Tehran, April 5 – Israeli military intelligence officials cited reports today that Iran is attempting ...
Read More »15-Year-Old Hopes He’s Not Too Old To Fight For Hamas
“I doubt they’d accept me. There are just too many younger guys out there – I’m basically over the hill as far as Hamas is concerned.” Rafah, Gaza Strip, March 28 – Yusuf Hijazi looks at the towering wall between ...
Read More »IDF To Dismantle Settler Outpost ‘Tel Aviv’
“This settlement has long attracted radicals, but we are prepared to deal with that,” said Egoz Battalion commander Major Aryush Itinmi. Jaffa, March 21 – The Israel Defense Force announced this morning (Saturday) it had received approval from the Ministry ...
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