He practiced a small detonation but injured his little brother. Hebron, February 25 – Citing what he calls the lockdown’s “devastating effect” on his family, a local resident who aspires to kill Israelis by detonating an explosive belt he wears ...
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Feed SubscriptionIsrael Apartheid Barrier Outed As Wall That Maimed Humpty Dumpty
Activists demanded to put the allegorical Mr. Dumpty back together along with idyllic pre-Israel Palestine. Nabi Salih, February 18 – Activists have uncovered evidence that the series of wires, towers, concrete ramparts, and other obstacles that Israel credits with stopping ...
Read More »Gaza Belt Woman Always Has Cookies Baking In Case Of Hamas Tunnel Infiltrators
“I’ve chosen to show affection to those who might not get that kind of attention around here. I do hope they like my apple pie.” Kissufim, Southern Israel, February 11 – A resident of this pastoral community near the Islamist-controlled ...
Read More »Fringe Parties Warn Israeli Democracy In Peril If Fringe Parties Kept Out Of Power
“Don’t call us Kahanist! We’ve rebranded since the 1980’s and now we identify as an oppressed minority.” Tel Aviv, February 4 – Political groups at the extremes of Israeli society with a small following cautioned today that the representative, accountable ...
Read More »God Fails To Get J Street’s Approval Before Promising Land To Jacob
“Making such a dangerous promise is a one-sided measure that establishes facts on the ground prejudicing the outcome of Israeli-Palestinian negotiations.” Beth El, January 28 – A group of left-wing American lobbyists voiced dismay today following a divine commitment to ...
Read More »I Think The Other Hamas Fighters Trapped In This Collapsed Tunnel Are Closer Than 2 Meters
by Hussein Halabi, Hamas commando Somewhere underground near the fence between the Gaza Strip and southern Israel, January 21 – Oh God. I think both of my legs are broken. And several ribs. And I can’t feel my left arm. ...
Read More »Jerusalem Bakery So Far Resisting Urge To Weigh In On Trump Removal
“One wonders how a business can even function if it focuses only on production, quality control, marketing, management, and accounting.” Jerusalem, January 14 – Proprietors of a neighborhood establishment specializing in pastries, breads, and various confections has to date not ...
Read More »IDF Critics Note That Nazis Also Used Weapons, Helmets
Other shared practices include drafting, training, operating an air force, maintaining naval facilities, and wearing uniforms. Geneva, January 7 – Human rights groups and international organizations drew dark parallels today between Israel’s military and Germany under Adolph Hitler, noting that the ...
Read More »Progressives Torn As Bus Under Which To Throw Jews Fails Emissions Test
“We have to determine whether harming Jews is simply a positive side-effect of our efforts, or a goal in itself.” Sacramento, December 31 – Stalwarts of forward-leaning politics voiced consternation today at a new dilemma that may force them to ...
Read More »Isolated Iran Encourages April 1945 Hitler: ‘You Have Them Right Where You Want Them’
“Soon you will bring down the hammer that crushes the enemy and energizes the citizens and soldiers of the Reich to restore the glory it has too long been denied.” Tehran, December 24 – High-ranking officials of the Islamic Republic ...
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