“We’re all just so morally… consistent, I guess, is the word.” New York, April 1 – For at least the sixth time this week, a group of activists opposed to the existence of a Jewish state just happened to express ...
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“My first thought is I did something wrong in placing the charms, so that they are actually having no effect.” Jerusalem, March 25 – A customer at a cut-price chain retailer voiced her consternation today upon discovering not only that ...
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by Lieutenant Zorb-8, Watch Commander, Galaga-X Scout Vessel 22R, Squadron Blue, Intergalactic Fleet Task Force M Intergalactic Standard Date 14.5.99.008, in orbit around Earth – Captain, our surface team has returned from the planet with several specimens upon which to conduct ...
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“The Americans are somehow both unreliable and entirely predictable.” Sana, March 11 – Families of a man and woman hoping not to be dismembered by missiles from an American Predator aircraft at the celebration of their nuptials lamented this week ...
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Elections are scheduled for March 26. Caesarea, March 4 – Israel’s incumbent prime minister floated the idea today of appealing to segments beyond his traditional right-wing base by adopting some behaviors of the center-left American president, such as standing behind ...
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He practiced a small detonation but injured his little brother. Hebron, February 25 – Citing what he calls the lockdown’s “devastating effect” on his family, a local resident who aspires to kill Israelis by detonating an explosive belt he wears ...
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Activists demanded to put the allegorical Mr. Dumpty back together along with idyllic pre-Israel Palestine. Nabi Salih, February 18 – Activists have uncovered evidence that the series of wires, towers, concrete ramparts, and other obstacles that Israel credits with stopping ...
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“I’ve chosen to show affection to those who might not get that kind of attention around here. I do hope they like my apple pie.” Kissufim, Southern Israel, February 11 – A resident of this pastoral community near the Islamist-controlled ...
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“Don’t call us Kahanist! We’ve rebranded since the 1980’s and now we identify as an oppressed minority.” Tel Aviv, February 4 – Political groups at the extremes of Israeli society with a small following cautioned today that the representative, accountable ...
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“Making such a dangerous promise is a one-sided measure that establishes facts on the ground prejudicing the outcome of Israeli-Palestinian negotiations.” Beth El, January 28 – A group of left-wing American lobbyists voiced dismay today following a divine commitment to ...
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