“It’s hard to see how Saul and his camp will recover from this.” Elah Valley, Philistine-Israelite border region, October 8 – A rhetorical confrontation between a Philistine warrior champion and his opponents, led by Saul, king of Israel, concluded this ...
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Feed SubscriptionNew ‘Gen Z’ Siddur Includes Translation Into Emoji
“Today’s young Jews are more fluent in smileys, memes, and gifs than in the stodgy verbiage of the Birnbaum, Artscroll, Koren, or even Sim Shalom.” New York, October 1 – Educational and communal institutions continue to struggle to reach and ...
Read More »Cabinet Decides Masks, Distancing Only Apply To ‘Little People’
“Everyone should have grasped long ago that there is a special elite to whom the rules do not apply. It’s actually a little shameful to me that we had to make this explicit after all this time.” Jerusalem, September 24 ...
Read More »Campaign Hopes To Reach Ushpizin In Time To Get Them To Wear Masks
Concern that, despite their advanced age, the seven Ushpizin might be carrying the pathogen. Jerusalem, September 17 – A group of Jews concerned for the welfare of the elderly guests who visit each temporary residence during the upcoming Sukkot holiday ...
Read More »If We In The EU Undermine Israeli Sovereignty, That Undoes the Holocaust, Right?
by Josep Borell, Chief of Foreign Policy, European Union Brussels, September 10 – Europe’s unified approach to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict grows in large part out of the Continent’s ambiguous legacy when it comes to the wholesale slaughter of Jews under ...
Read More »Report: Even Good Thing Bad If Other Political Side Does It
Many sense it intuitively. Jerusalem, September 3 – Scientific research has confirmed a long-held assumption prevalent among the civically engaged, a new study claims, to the effect that constructive, beneficial acts, policies, or decisions that a government adopts become wrong ...
Read More »Hipster Terrorist Insists Was Just Stabbing Jews Ironically
Police and prosecution officials expect the case to go to trial, at which they will seek an ironic sentence of life imprisonment. Petach Tikva, August 26 – The Palestinian killer of a 46-year-old Israeli father of four claimed today that ...
Read More »We Will Recognize Israel In Exchange For Destroying Israel
by Javad Zarif, Minister of Foreign Affairs, Islamic Republic of Iran Tehran, August 21 – Diplomacy and politics are all about compromise. Both arts require flexibility, creative thinking, and efforts to craft win-win situations in which all parties to the ...
Read More »Judenrat Candidate Insists He Most Qualified To Provide Futile Cushion Against Nazi Brutality
“If the Judenrat will toil in vain,” he chanted, “it might as well be led by someone vain!” Bialystock Ghetto, August 13 – Authorities mandated this week that the Jews of this city elect delegates to a council that will ...
Read More »Iran Pleased To Have Lebanese To Sacrifice In Addition To Syrians, Iraqis, Yemenis, Palestinians
“They should be thankful to participate in this grand project.” Tehran, August 6 – Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei and several of his top officials voiced gratification today following a catastrophic explosion in Beirut yesterday that killed more than a ...
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