The next spontaneous protest will happen three Fridays from now. Gaza City, July 8 – Authorities in this Mediterranean coastal territory announced today (Monday) that the unplanned demonstration planned for the coming weekendat the barrier separating the territory from Israel, under ...
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Feed SubscriptionCharity Calls At Dinnertime, Pretends You’ve Donated To Them Before
At no point in her prepared script did the caller apologize for the intrusion into what in most households represents one of the few stretches of quality family time. Jerusalem, June 27 – A representative of a not-for-profit organization that ...
Read More »Regime Bombing Ships, Shooting Down Aircraft Insists Intentions Peaceful
Minister of Foreign Affairs Javad Zarif called such charges baseless, and characterized them as but the latest in ongoing American aggression and colonialism. Tehran, June 20 – A Middle East country whose military and agents maintain a long-running policy of international terrorism, ...
Read More »UN Invites Jussie Smollett To Head Israel War Crimes Panel
“In keeping with the finest traditions of UN inquiries such as those conducted under Messrs. Goldstone, Falk, and others.” Geneva, June 13 – An international body that aims to look into allegations of violations of the Laws of Armed Conflict ...
Read More »Israeli Pundits Lament Lack Of Hipster Coffee Shops In Which To Overhear Statements That Confirm Their Biases
“This is obviously a result of the far-right demagoguery of Netanyahu and his minions.” Tel Aviv, June 6 – Journalists from some of the major media outlets in the country expressed frustration and disappointment today at the relative paucity of ...
Read More »Suicide Bomber Detonates Too Late, Takes Out 72 Virgins
“There were body parts everywhere,” recalled Archangel Gabriel. Hodeidah, Yemen, May 30 – A jihad warrior wearing an explosive vest set off his charge a split second after his partner today, resulting in the second explosion straddling the earthly and Jannah ...
Read More »Tel Aviv Is The Place To Be For Partyi- I Mean For Monitoring Human Rights
By Dominic Lord, human rights activist Tel Aviv, May 23 – We activists take our role seriously: forming alliances, raising awareness, generating political pressure, and partying till all hours in this fabulous city. This is where the human rights action ...
Read More »Hundreds Dead After Article About Song Contest Fails To Mention Palestinians
“Something, anything to prevent the reader from getting the wrong idea that the Palestinian issue mustn’t dominate human consciousness.” Tel Aviv, May 19 – Tragedy struck the Middle East today when a careless reporter omitted the geopolitical context of an ...
Read More »500,000 CE: Last Remaining Organisms In Yarmouk Camp Still Trying To Kill One Another
Humans abandoned Yarmouk eighty thousand years ago, but the remaining creatures maintain the ancient fight. Damascus, May 8 – Few living things remain on Earth, but the small number of protozoa, bacteria, and other microscopic life forms inhabiting an area ...
Read More »Hamas Fires Rockets Into Mediterranean To Train For When Jews Already Driven Into Sea
“It’s encouraging that Hamas appears to be looking beyond victory at what actual policy looks like in the absence of their lifelong enemy.” Gaza City, May 1 – Military planners of the Islamist movement that governs this territory conducted a missile test ...
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