While the move carries little practical significance, supporters of Scar trumpeted their victory. Pride Rock, Serengeti Ecosystem, Tanzania, August 9 – The United Nations Education, Scientific, and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) designated this location as a site of Scar’s heritage today, striking ...
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Feed SubscriptionTruck Drivers Unloading Tons Of Food In Gaza Unaware Of Brutal Siege
“It’s axiomatic that Israel’s policies are the root of all Palestinian suffering – the human rights industr- I mean community established that long ago.” Kerem Shalom Crossing, August 2 – Logistics personnel handling the hundreds of tons of foodstuffs, commercial ...
Read More »Muslims Demand Dumbledore Remove Anti-Intruder Jinxes At Hogwarts
“This does not bode well, not at all,” moaned a thin professor with flowing robes. Hogsmeade, July 26 – Flush with a sense of power and purpose after extracting concessions elsewhere, Muslims issued new demands today that the headmaster of ...
Read More »Arab Hope Of Defeating Israel Just A Mossad Plot To Keep Them Distracted
It turns on the axiom that Muslims and Arabs cannot be blamed for their misfortune. Gaza City, July 19 – Sources within the intelligence community have uncovered evidence that prolonged Arab opposition to the Israel under the misapprehension that it ...
Read More »Poor, Uneducated, Underemployed Americans Somehow Not Resorting To Terrorism
“There are fringe groups, but you don’t have them taking over whole regions and recruiting thousands of like-minded fighters from far away. It’s bizarre.” Gary, Indiana, July 12 – Terrorism experts confessed today they cannot explain why tens of millions of Americans ...
Read More »Palestinians Cry ‘Apartheid’ Over Election Of Jew To Lead Israeli Labor
Labor officials acknowledged Erekat’s argument. “It’s more or less true.” Ramallah, July 5 – Following the election of a yet another Israeli Jew as the new chairman of the country’s Labor Party, Palestinian leaders accused both the party and wider ...
Read More »Palestinian Teachers Fear Students’ Murderous Hate For Jews Will Atrophy Over Summer
For veteran Palestinian educators, the feelings are all too familiar. Jenin, June 28 – Educators in the Palestinian Authority school system and in the parallel institutions run by the United nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees voiced concern ...
Read More »Iran Threatens To Aim Missiles At Palestinians That Will Miss And Hit Israel
They also threatened to target Israel’s offshore gas fields in the Mediterranean by aiming the weapons for Cyprus or Egypt. Tehran, June 21 – The Islamic Republic of Iran has modified its anti-Israel rhetoric in the last two days to ...
Read More »Talmud Scholars Look To Hate Groups For Passages They Didn’t Know Existed
“I’m curious, and eager to examine those passages in the original Aramaic,” admitted Dina de Garmi of the University of Bologna, Italy. New York, June 14 – Experts in the body of Jewish law and lore called the Talmud voiced ...
Read More »Moderate Cannibals Feeling Pressure To Disavow Extremists
“In fact we deny that what those monsters are doing is cannibalism at all.” Beirut, June 7 – Community leaders among those who consume human flesh in a moderate fashion complain that they are being unfairly targeted by critics of ...
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