The Council automatically rendered the entire Jewish stronghold currently under siege an illegal entity that must be dismantled. Jerusalem, December 28 – The Roman general commanding the forces surrounding the Jewish capital sent messengers today to the leaders of the ...
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Feed SubscriptionMuslims Call Display Of Hanukkah Lights An Assault On Their Religious Freedom
“Our community reserves the right to resist this onslaught of heresy by any means,” read the statement. Jerusalem, December 21 – Religious leaders in the Muslim community across Israel warned today that if millions of Israeli Jews kindle their annual ...
Read More »Joseph, You Know That One Of Those Eleven Stars Is Technically A Planet, Right?
By Judah Joe, the guys are not pleased with your delusions of grandeur, and I can’t say I disagree. Aside from the fact that it’s just dangerously destabilizing to go boasting about visions of your own superiority over us, it’s ...
Read More »EU To Impose Strict 2-Rapes-Per-Migrant Limit
Critics of the measure expressed concern at its strictness. Malmo, December 7 – A spike in reported rapes that coincides with the influx of refugees and migrants from African and Middle Eastern countries into Europe has driven the European Parliament ...
Read More »Mideast Countries Regret Not Leaving Some Jews For Their Kids to Expel
“It’s not the same, persecuting Copts,” observed Aiwil Qillemal, 80. Baghdad, November 30 – Community elders throughout the Muslim Middle East voiced wistfulness today at the realization that present and future generations in their countries will never know the pleasure ...
Read More »Stupid ‘Muezzin Law’ Says Nothing About Your Goddamn Neighbor’s Alarm Clock
May-Aynei lays partial blame at the feet of the legislators themselves, who tend to live in more spacious accommodations and hear less of the goings-on in neighbors’ homes. Rosh HaAyin, November 23 – Examination of recent legislation to limit the ...
Read More »For Trump Visit, Arab MKs To Throw Tiny Gloves Instead Of Shoes
“Trump is a bigot,” proclaimed the legislator, whose party supports homophobia and misogyny, and denied the legitimacy of Israel as a Jewish State. Jerusalem, November 16 – No date has been announced for the trip to Israel President-elect Donald Trump ...
Read More »Mossad Pronounces New Election-Fixing Technology A Success
The section chief praised her staff for completing the project ahead of schedule and under budget. Tel Aviv, November 9 – Developers and project leaders at Israel’s secret intelligence service gathered today to celebrate the first successful field test of ...
Read More »Man Accused Of Leaking Disputation Questions To Nachmanides
“The rabbi knew exactly what points of Christian doctrine to attack, as if someone had gone through the Bible for him and marked the passages that undermine the faith.” Barcelona, November 2 – In the aftermath of Rabbi Moshe ben ...
Read More »If You’d Just Let Us Kill You, Maybe We’d Stop Killing You
By Bassem Tamimi, Palestinian activist Perhaps the most persistent argument in defense of the wall that keeps us Palestinians imprisoned is that it prevents attacks on Israelis. But that contention could not be more ridiculous, because if the Zionists would ...
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