PreOccupied Territory The News In Advance. Barely.

Spotting Jews will become a matter of seconds, rather than having to ask around, which can waste precious minutes during an altercation in which a Jew might defend himself. Lod, July 13 – Israeli law enforcement officials told Jewish community ...

“Our society needs to be shaken up, maybe even burnt down to the foundation, and then rebuilt. Like that place over on Shiloh Street I’ve had my eye on.” Jerusalem, July 4 – An area vandal who bills himself as ...

Palestine must be ruled by the descendants of those plants, and of course Palestinians are those descendants. Ramallah, June 23 – An advocate for removing Jewish sovereignty from the Holy Land in favor of an Arab Islamic state, who also ...

“We certainly don’t want the people who pay our salaries to realize our work here is no longer as necessary!” Jerusalem, June 14 – Israel swore in its most diverse government in history today, including an unprecedented number of women, ...

“Did those new clothes disappear?” Jerusalem, June 6 – A local couple voiced puzzlement today at the fact that they have, over the last three months, parted with upwards of six hundred shekels to procure garments, footwear, and accessories for ...

Observers remarked on the speed with which the thugs made the pivot to, and then away from, targeting Jews en masse. Umm El-Fahm, May 26 – Thugs unable to take their aggression out on Jews in Israel following belated police ...

“All the unrest you have experienced this week is merely anti-Zionist, and you may therefore unburden yourselves of the anxiety over antisemitism.” Lod, May 13 – Law enforcement authorities in Israel sought to assuage the fears of Jewish residents in ...

“Get up to forty percent off on items or services that our records indicate you have purchased exactly zero times in the five years you have banked with us!” Jerusalem, April 26 – The financial institution through which you conduct most of ...

“Who wants three-week-old meat when fresh chametz is all the rage?” Jerusalem, April 15 – Actuaries and gambling analysts released their predictions for the next week, including an item that gives a better-than-three-to-one likelihood that an aluminum pan of brisket ...

“There are no bathrooms right outside the zoo, so let’s just say avoid that spot over there behind the trees.” Jerusalem, April 6 – A couple with four children who decided a visit to the city’s largest picturesque and eclectic ...