“I’ve gotten my friends to give him the silent treatment, but some of them don’t understand the seriousness of the situation, and they’re lax about it, or don’t adhere to it when they think I’m not paying attention.” Giv’atayim, September ...
Read More »Category Archives: Israel
Feed SubscriptionLockdown: Mosquito Also Sick Of Your Family
She conducted at least two raids to obtain blood from human capillaries, one of which proved successful. Jerusalem, August 25 – An insect forced to spend all of its life in the confines of a residence where a single family ...
Read More »Israelis Can’t Wait To Spread Obnoxious Tourist Reputation To UAE, Oman, Bahrain
Israeli travelers took to focusing on what they do best while out of the country: making themselves and their countrymen look like spoiled, whiny, provincial ingrates. Ramat HaSharon, August 17 – Word of the developing diplomatic and commercial ties between ...
Read More »Towns Vie For Best Derelict Tribute To Trump
“Suck our exhaust, never-in-the-shade Donald Trump Bus Stop Shelter at Geha Interchange!” Maaleh Gerah, August 6 – Municipalities around Israel that sought to put themselves on the map by capturing the attention of a narcissistic American president with gestures expressing ...
Read More »Turkish Flotilla Aims To Relieve ‘Siege’ Of Arabs Under COVID Lockdown In Israel
“Free the Palestinian people from the yoke of Zionist oppression that has raised Arab incomes, life expectancy, and health care, and freedom indicators far beyond those of their neighbors.” Marmara, Turkey – A group of human rights activists vowed today ...
Read More »Poor, Hungry Israelis Unaware They Part Of Global Banking Cabal
“You’d think that as members of a tribe that has sat at the crux of global finance for generations, they might have some clue as to their status, but none seem to.” B’nei B’rak, July 16 – Residents of this ...
Read More »COVID Guidelines Almost As Coherent As Case For Palestinian Statehood
“We find slightly more support for the idea that Israel should rely on existential enemies to help guarantee its security.” Jerusalem. July 8 – Ministry of Health pronouncements governing public behavior during the current second wave of the coronavirus pandemic ...
Read More »Israelis Facing Another Heat Wave Wonder Whether Mossad Even Doing Its Job
“Allowing Israelis to be subject to the vagaries of inclement weather leaves open the possibility of denying Israel controls the weather at all.” Ashkelon, June 29 – Residents of this southern coastal city and their compatriots around the country expressed ...
Read More »COVID Limits Beitar Jerusalem Fans To Chanting Racist Slogans At Home
“You haven’t lived until you’ve celebrated a national championship by chanting, ‘ein Aravim, ein piggu’im.'” Jerusalem, June 17 – Staunch supporters of this capital city’s yellow-and-black-clad soccer team remain unable to bring their anti-Arab animus to games at Teddy Stadium, ...
Read More »Israelis 100% Protected From COVID Viruses Trying to Penetrate Chin
A handful of conscientious citizens even cover their mouths. Jerusalem, June 8 – Ministry of Health officials announced promising new figures today in the battle to contain coronavirus, figures that they contend show complete effectiveness of surgical and other masks ...
Read More »