Opinion of the police deteriorated from at or slightly better than opinion of COVID in April to demonstrably worse at present. Tel Aviv, October 8 – A deadly pandemic ravaging the globe garners a more favorable opinion among Israel’s public ...
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Feed SubscriptionPneumatic Drill Nextdoor Unaware It Cause Of Lockdown Nervous Breakdown
Tightened restrictions imposed over the weekend exacerbated the domestic tensions, but the digging that began toward the end of August cemented their descent into the loony bin. Jerusalem, September 24 – A piece of heavy construction equipment demonstrated no awareness ...
Read More »Man Glad Post Office Appointment Shaved Two Minutes Off 90-Minute Wait
Customer space is limited to six visitors at once, and the office never has on duty more than two or three clerks to serve the hundreds of people who require their services. Jerusalem, September 14 – Reduced staff and limits ...
Read More »Teen Can’t Believe Parents Normalizing Relations With Annoying Sibling
“I’ve gotten my friends to give him the silent treatment, but some of them don’t understand the seriousness of the situation, and they’re lax about it, or don’t adhere to it when they think I’m not paying attention.” Giv’atayim, September ...
Read More »Lockdown: Mosquito Also Sick Of Your Family
She conducted at least two raids to obtain blood from human capillaries, one of which proved successful. Jerusalem, August 25 – An insect forced to spend all of its life in the confines of a residence where a single family ...
Read More »Israelis Can’t Wait To Spread Obnoxious Tourist Reputation To UAE, Oman, Bahrain
Israeli travelers took to focusing on what they do best while out of the country: making themselves and their countrymen look like spoiled, whiny, provincial ingrates. Ramat HaSharon, August 17 – Word of the developing diplomatic and commercial ties between ...
Read More »Towns Vie For Best Derelict Tribute To Trump
“Suck our exhaust, never-in-the-shade Donald Trump Bus Stop Shelter at Geha Interchange!” Maaleh Gerah, August 6 – Municipalities around Israel that sought to put themselves on the map by capturing the attention of a narcissistic American president with gestures expressing ...
Read More »Turkish Flotilla Aims To Relieve ‘Siege’ Of Arabs Under COVID Lockdown In Israel
“Free the Palestinian people from the yoke of Zionist oppression that has raised Arab incomes, life expectancy, and health care, and freedom indicators far beyond those of their neighbors.” Marmara, Turkey – A group of human rights activists vowed today ...
Read More »Poor, Hungry Israelis Unaware They Part Of Global Banking Cabal
“You’d think that as members of a tribe that has sat at the crux of global finance for generations, they might have some clue as to their status, but none seem to.” B’nei B’rak, July 16 – Residents of this ...
Read More »COVID Guidelines Almost As Coherent As Case For Palestinian Statehood
“We find slightly more support for the idea that Israel should rely on existential enemies to help guarantee its security.” Jerusalem. July 8 – Ministry of Health pronouncements governing public behavior during the current second wave of the coronavirus pandemic ...
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