PreOccupied Territory The News In Advance. Barely.

“If you’re not overdrawn on your checking account, there’s no way you’re not involved in something dirty.” Jerusalem, May 25 – A would-be philanthropist found himself in a holding cell at the Russian Compound headquarters of the Jerusalem District Police ...

“Having the real truth out there now is crucial, in this era of fake news and misinformation.” Nahariyya, May 14 – A resident of this sleepy city on the Mediterranean voiced satisfaction today after he submitted the latest of what ...

“I need to be screaming insults at customers, especially tourists, at least twenty minutes a day.” Jerusalem, May 5 – The proprietor of a spice, nut, and seed establishment at this city’s main open-air market voiced his continued frustration today ...

A neighbor declined to be identified by name, citing concerns of associated shame in the deeply conservative society of secular Israelis. Jerusalem, April 23 – Neighbors, relatives, and friends of a local resident expressed shock this morning upon discovering that he had ...

“Oh, boy, yeah, dodged a bullet there,” he declared in the presence of his disappointed parents, a little too loudly. “Just crushed.” Jerusalem, April 13 – A local teenager confessed he is oh, yeah, absolutely let down at the current ...

He took the measures in response to the climbing figure of coronavirus patients in Israel. Jerusalem, March 31 – A local resident fearful of coronavirus decided not to wait until the eve of Passover to take certain traditional protective measures ...

“Give me some time with the leaders of the parties to the conflict and I’ll get them to see the correct decision, if they know what’s good for them.” Giv’at Shmuel, March 19 – Heads of a family who have so ...

“The two of them stared daggers at each other for a full fifteen minutes.” Ra’anana, March 10 – Students at a local high school recalled an embarrassing episode that took place on Sunday, when two of their number observed the ...

“I only woke up like four times, not including my usual 3 AM bathroom run.” Ramat Gan, February 27 – A resident who shared his numerous ideas with his wife about getting a jump on preparations for a Jewish festival ...

“No one checks because ‘Israel Bad’ drowns out all other considerations.” Jerusalem, February 19 – Failure of a restaurant customer’s attempt to con the establishment into a free meal has led him to acknowledge he underestimated the effort necessary to ...