“The Israeli government has shown it’s willing to provide cash conduits to even the most heinous parties, so as far as this tactic is concerned, more power to Mr. Nussbaum,” stated Mrs. Nussbaum’s spokeswoman. Bnei Brak, February 20 – A ...
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Feed SubscriptionAntisemites Pounce After Early Draft Of ‘Protocols’ Leaked
“I take back my apology for my tweets about AIPAC buying off member of congress,” stated Congresswoman Ilhan Omar (D-MN). Jerusalem, February 13 – Opponents of Jews seized an opportunity to denounce the demographic group following the accidental publication of a book ...
Read More »Mossad Weather Chief Won’t Let Kids Touch Thermostat At Home
“It’s like telling us we can’t eat junk food and then chowing down on a bowl of Doritos,” insisted the oldest, 12. Modiin, February 4 – Children of the man who oversees Israel’s clandestine projects to control temperature, winds, precipitation, ...
Read More »Israelis Welcome Campaign Text Msgs To Break Monotony Of Loan Offers
A spammer who perform his paid work for both shady lenders and political campaigns confirmed that replying to texts with “Remove” as instructed if one wishes not to receive such solicitations in the future has the opposite effect. Kiryat Malachi, ...
Read More »Dog Walkers Vow To Up Output After Storms Wash Away Poop
“It’s a challenge, but we embrace this sort of challenge.” Jerusalem, January 15 – Owners and caretakers of canine pets in this city redoubled their efforts this week to cover the sidewalks in dog crap again after a series of ...
Read More »Confusion As Virtue Signaler Displays Actual Virtue
“My understanding has always been that ethical behavior was something you only demanded of others.” Tel Aviv, January 2 – Activists and media figures voiced bewilderment today following a display of real, verifiable moral fiber and character on the part of ...
Read More »Kids In Poverty Realize Santa Hates Them
“It’s quite a departure from the Saint Nick of yore.” Nazareth, December 26 – Children from economically disadvantaged families compared their Christmas presents today to those of better-off friends and neighbors and came to the conclusion that Kris Kringle must ...
Read More »Police Beat Stranded Motorist Wearing Reflective Yellow Vest
“Disruptions of law and order occur in close connection with these vests, as events in Paris demonstrate.” Jerusalem, December 17 – Law enforcement personnel pummeled a man wearing the signature uniform of a violent anti-government protester this morning, only to ...
Read More »Man Likes To Pretend He Eats Less Fried Food When It’s Not Hanukkah
Mr. Ravui’s devotion to Jewish tradition includes a robust embrace of the culinary, with less emphasis on the moral dimension. Ramat HaSharon, December 6 – A local resident whose regular culinary habits consist of such dishes as falafel, kubbeh, French fries, ...
Read More »Study: Hanukkah Music More Annoying Than Christmas Music
The results will surprise many people. Haifa, November 27 – A comprehensive examination of popular winter-holiday music has led scientists to conclude that despite a strong candidacy, the irritating qualities of Christian seasonal music fall short of those that its ...
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