“It’s a challenge, but we embrace this sort of challenge.” Jerusalem, January 15 – Owners and caretakers of canine pets in this city redoubled their efforts this week to cover the sidewalks in dog crap again after a series of ...
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Feed SubscriptionConfusion As Virtue Signaler Displays Actual Virtue
“My understanding has always been that ethical behavior was something you only demanded of others.” Tel Aviv, January 2 – Activists and media figures voiced bewilderment today following a display of real, verifiable moral fiber and character on the part of ...
Read More »Kids In Poverty Realize Santa Hates Them
“It’s quite a departure from the Saint Nick of yore.” Nazareth, December 26 – Children from economically disadvantaged families compared their Christmas presents today to those of better-off friends and neighbors and came to the conclusion that Kris Kringle must ...
Read More »Police Beat Stranded Motorist Wearing Reflective Yellow Vest
“Disruptions of law and order occur in close connection with these vests, as events in Paris demonstrate.” Jerusalem, December 17 – Law enforcement personnel pummeled a man wearing the signature uniform of a violent anti-government protester this morning, only to ...
Read More »Man Likes To Pretend He Eats Less Fried Food When It’s Not Hanukkah
Mr. Ravui’s devotion to Jewish tradition includes a robust embrace of the culinary, with less emphasis on the moral dimension. Ramat HaSharon, December 6 – A local resident whose regular culinary habits consist of such dishes as falafel, kubbeh, French fries, ...
Read More »Study: Hanukkah Music More Annoying Than Christmas Music
The results will surprise many people. Haifa, November 27 – A comprehensive examination of popular winter-holiday music has led scientists to conclude that despite a strong candidacy, the irritating qualities of Christian seasonal music fall short of those that its ...
Read More »Man Mystified That Changing Profile Pic Hasn’t Ended War
“Imagine how history would be different if there had been a social media campaign of this nature and power before the Second World War.” Kiryat Motzkin, November 14 – A resident of this Haifa suburb voiced confusion and frustration today ...
Read More »Failed Stabbing Of Soldier Botches Chance For Dramatic Marriage Proposal
A friend filmed the episode from a distance. Ofer Prison, November 7 – A Palestinian whose attempt to kill an IDF trooper, and to use the excitement of the moment to ask his girlfriend to marry him, fell short of ...
Read More »Lara Alqassem Blending In Among Heb. U Faculty
“I thought I’d be more conspicuous,” she admitted. Jerusalem, October 24 – An American anti-Israel activist whose expulsion from the country was overturned by the High Court began her studies today at the Hebrew University, where her radical politics and ...
Read More »After Mishap, Jerusalem-Tel-Aviv Train Operator Seeks Hamas Advice On Tunnels
“We have a lot to learn from them in terms of structural and system integrity.” Jerusalem, October 16 – Rakkevet Yisrael, the government-owned corporation that runs the country’s rail network, announced today that following a malfunction in an underground passageway ...
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