“Disruptions of law and order occur in close connection with these vests, as events in Paris demonstrate.” Jerusalem, December 17 – Law enforcement personnel pummeled a man wearing the signature uniform of a violent anti-government protester this morning, only to ...
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Feed SubscriptionMan Likes To Pretend He Eats Less Fried Food When It’s Not Hanukkah
Mr. Ravui’s devotion to Jewish tradition includes a robust embrace of the culinary, with less emphasis on the moral dimension. Ramat HaSharon, December 6 – A local resident whose regular culinary habits consist of such dishes as falafel, kubbeh, French fries, ...
Read More »Study: Hanukkah Music More Annoying Than Christmas Music
The results will surprise many people. Haifa, November 27 – A comprehensive examination of popular winter-holiday music has led scientists to conclude that despite a strong candidacy, the irritating qualities of Christian seasonal music fall short of those that its ...
Read More »Man Mystified That Changing Profile Pic Hasn’t Ended War
“Imagine how history would be different if there had been a social media campaign of this nature and power before the Second World War.” Kiryat Motzkin, November 14 – A resident of this Haifa suburb voiced confusion and frustration today ...
Read More »Failed Stabbing Of Soldier Botches Chance For Dramatic Marriage Proposal
A friend filmed the episode from a distance. Ofer Prison, November 7 – A Palestinian whose attempt to kill an IDF trooper, and to use the excitement of the moment to ask his girlfriend to marry him, fell short of ...
Read More »Lara Alqassem Blending In Among Heb. U Faculty
“I thought I’d be more conspicuous,” she admitted. Jerusalem, October 24 – An American anti-Israel activist whose expulsion from the country was overturned by the High Court began her studies today at the Hebrew University, where her radical politics and ...
Read More »After Mishap, Jerusalem-Tel-Aviv Train Operator Seeks Hamas Advice On Tunnels
“We have a lot to learn from them in terms of structural and system integrity.” Jerusalem, October 16 – Rakkevet Yisrael, the government-owned corporation that runs the country’s rail network, announced today that following a malfunction in an underground passageway ...
Read More »Accumulated Dog Poo On Jerusalem Streets Becomes Sentient, Leads Mayoral Race
A campaign being run by a piece of actual, physiological crap is shaping up to be the cleanest Israel has ever seen. Jerusalem, October 4 – A cohesion of canine fecal matter sat so long on the pavement of Israel’s ...
Read More »New Israel Fund Under Fire For Not Having Eritrean Asylum-Seeker As Director
NIF leaders have scrambled to perform damage control amid the spread of the allegations. Jerusalem, August 2 – A leading organization in far-left Israeli politics and social change found itself the target of criticism from former allies as word spread ...
Read More »Man’s Computer Emits Noxious Fumes After He Accidentally Installs Microsoft Orifice
“This is is just a foul situation.” Beer Sheva, July 24 – A user complained of an unpleasant odor emanating from his desktop today following an incident in which instead of installing the latest version of the Office suite of ...
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