The chief concern among every single one crossing your path is how best to disrupt your movements and maximize your hassles. Ben Gurion Airport, July 17 – A survey of the hundreds of thousands of travelers passing through Israel’s largest ...
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Feed SubscriptionPreschool Teacher Censured For Missing Quota Of Crap To Send Home With Kids
“Unless those quotas are met, parents will be confronted with the prospect of having usable space in their homes, and that would be a disaster.” Jerusalem, July 4 – A nursery school educator in the Nahalat Ahim neighborhood of the ...
Read More »Marketer Seems To Think World Cup And Pickup Trucks Related
“What an insult to the consumer’s intelligence.” Nahariya, June 26 – Observers of the economy noted this week that an advertising agency appears to believe there exists some sort of inherent connection between the FIFA’s international championship tournament and a ...
Read More »Almost Time For Local Mom To Think Fidget Spinners The Latest Thing
“Oh, crap, she’s probably going to describe the spinners as ‘fleeky’ or something.” Carmiel, June 24 – A mother of three in this middle-class northern town will soon hit upon the idea that a gyroscope-like toy that peaked in popularity ...
Read More »Jersualem To Be Ready For 2019 Eurovision By 2028
“We’re confident we can have everything ready for next year in plenty of time for the one in ten years.” Jerusalem, June 19 – Municipal officials in Israel’s capital boasted today that preparations for next year’s prestigious international song contest ...
Read More »Gov’t Helping Iranians Save Water Because Israelis Won’t Bother
“Judging from the selfish, entitled way Israelis act on airplanes, on the roads, in restaurants, and while waiting for anything, we realized Israelis are positively the last group to respond to initiatives of this sort.” Kibbutz Sde Eliyahu, June 11 ...
Read More »Israel Soccer Association Worried May Never Be Corrupt Enough To Host World Cup
“It’s that nexus of sports and politics where the real greed, graft, extortion, and other dirt have to be well established for FIFA to even look your way, and unfortunately for us, we’re not at that level.” Ramat Gan, May ...
Read More »Settlement Construction Halted: Plans Only Reported By NGOs As New 43 Times
Without repeated mention of the same units as if they represent many different ones, the world will remain unable to characterize Israel’s settlement policy as “beholden to far-right settlement zealots.” Beit El, Binyamin Regional Council, May 23 – Housing starts ...
Read More »BDS Subcontracts Economy-Destroying Work To Histadrut Labor Union
“We’re the people you want to get this kind of job done,” boasted chief Avi Nissenkorn. “We’ve been doing this for decades, and no one’s better at it.” Ashdod Port, May 15 – Years of questionable success at crippling Israel’s ...
Read More »NGOs Accuse Israel Of Carwashing
“Sometimes this carwashing activity also features an application of polish, though that requires additional expense and time.” Tel Aviv, May 8 – Human rights and civil rights groups lambasted the Jewish state again this week, this time pointing to the ...
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