“It’s a harmless little obsession that only occasionally drives us to the brink of bankruptcy, causes us to miss family events, and damages his relationship with other people.” Jerusalem, August 30 – Ohr Mizrahi, 40, has all but fused his ...
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Feed SubscriptionREPORT: Phone Menu Options Have Not Actually Changed
As the import of the announcement sank in, the assembly of journalists transformed into profanity-laced pandemonium. Givatayim, August 28 – An investigation into the automated system that channels incoming calls to various organization departments has found that despite a greeting ...
Read More »Traffic Laws To Be Suspended When You In A Hurry
It takes effect on the first day of school next week, but sooner if you really need it. Jerusalem, August 23 – To recognize the necessary exception to traffic regulations, the Ministry of Transport has enacted rules allowing you, specifically, to ...
Read More »Regulator Raises Minimum Number Of Unmanned Supermarket Checkout Lanes
Retail groups pushed heavily for the change, preferring to have the option of blaming restrictions imposed from the outside for unpleasant conditions in their stores. Tel Aviv, August 17 – For the first time in more than two decades, the agency ...
Read More »Iranian Asylum Seeker Already Finding Tel Aviv Insufferable
“I’ve already had it up to here with these people.” Tel Aviv, August 14 – A blogger who fled to Israel last week amid deportation threats in Turkey took very little time to adjust to her new surroundings, and has ...
Read More »Aspiring Chef Hopes To Invent More Dishes That Can Be Politicized
“We’ve seen it with falafel, and to a similar extent with hummus, tahini, shakshuka, shawarma, sabih, and numerous other Near Eastern and Levantine dishes.” Jerusalem, August 9 – Ohr Ben-Zikri, 22, might have finished only one year of culinary school, ...
Read More »Woman Denied Job As Clinic Receptionist Over Lack Of Press-On Nails
During the interview, alleged Rahamim, the supervisor of the unit kept looking at the candidate’s hands in a way that suggested something was amiss. Jerusalem, July 26 – A candidate for a position as a clerk at a Meuhedet Sick ...
Read More »Compulsive Refreshing Of News Feed Not Shown To Affect Quantity Of Awful News
The results of the study call into question the benefits people seek when they engage in such pointless, possibly destructive, behavior. Beersheva, July 24 – An extensive study that cross-referenced online habits with the frequency and intensity of horrible stories ...
Read More »Toddlers Declare Day Of Rage Over Suspension Of Free Access To Snacks
“NONONONONONONONOOOOOOO,” explained a spokestoddler. Hod HaSharon, July 20 – A group of two-year-olds at a local day care center have registered their objections to the removal of unlimited junk food by announcing that tomorrow they will hold a “day of ...
Read More »Man Denied Entry To Guns ‘N’ Roses Concert For Not Bringing Smartphone To Hold Up
A spokeswoman for the arena insisted in a telephone interview this morning that all proper procedures had been followed. Tel Aviv, July 16 – A ticket holder at Hayarkon Park contended this morning that arena staff would not let him ...
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