“An ignorant observer might conclude that the goal of the activists has little to do with helping Palestinians and everything to do with demonizing Israel.” Khan Yunis, Gaza Strip, July 10 – Analysts are struggling to explain the puzzling absence ...
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Feed SubscriptionPanic At Agency After Client Almost Understands Pension Fund
“We dodged a bullet,” declared Moel Kaspi, an Executive Vice President. Tel Aviv, July 5 – Personnel at Clal Insurance held an emergency session today following an incident in which an investor came close to comprehending the Byzantine, Labyrinthian terms ...
Read More »Palestinian Teachers Fear Students’ Murderous Hate For Jews Will Atrophy Over Summer
For veteran Palestinian educators, the feelings are all too familiar. Jenin, June 28 – Educators in the Palestinian Authority school system and in the parallel institutions run by the United nations Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees voiced concern ...
Read More »Review Of UNRWA Curriculum: Palestinian Preschoolers Never Taught To Share
Team members stressed the broad impact of their findings on current understanding of Palestinian society and polity. Tel Aviv, June 26 – A study of educational materials and approaches in Palestinian kindergartens and nursery schools reveals that whereas other cultures ...
Read More »Computer Gains Sentience, Won’t Stop Saying It’s Vegan
Fears that it would see humans as a threat in the manner depicted the Terminator series thus proved baseless. Rehovot, June 21 – Developers at the Weizmann Institute of Science have succeeded in constructing a sentient computer, they announced today, ...
Read More »Tel Aviv Man Couldn’t Tell Pride Parade Any Different From Normal Day
Signs that made retroactive sense included disruptions of traffic, which Pitsek said he had not noticed because Tel Aviv is already a traffic nightmare. Tel Aviv, June 14 – A resident of Israel’s second-largest city admitted surprise today after being ...
Read More »Latest Haaretz Conference Manages To Weed Out Presenters Shoving Objects Up Rectum
The conference was nevertheless marred by a woman in the audience greeting Minister of Education Naftali Bennett with a Nazi salute. Tel Aviv, June 12 – A “Peace Conference” convened by one of Israel’s most venerable dailies succeeded in avoiding ...
Read More »Scientists Confirm If You Give Mouse Cookie, Will Ask For Milk
The experiment outcome closely matches that posited by researchers Laura Joffe Numeroff and Felicia Bond in a 1985 paper. Rehovot, June 8 – Researchers at the Weizmann Institute of Science have managed to confirm a longstanding hypothesis regarding murine behavior, first ...
Read More »Proposal To Offer Land To Car Crashes So They Stop Killing People
“We’ve enjoyed periods as long as five days at a time without a Palestinian attempt on Jewish lives. That could work with cars too.” Carmiel-Misgav, June 4 – Road safety activists have put forth an initiative to treat the scourge ...
Read More »Jews Control All Banks, Media In Israel
The concentration of such power in the hands of Jews might brook resentment from wider Israeli society. Tel Aviv, May 29 – A survey of all major Israeli financial institutions, broadcast entertainment companies, and journalistic enterprises has uncovered a reality ...
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