Team members stressed the broad impact of their findings on current understanding of Palestinian society and polity. Tel Aviv, June 26 – A study of educational materials and approaches in Palestinian kindergartens and nursery schools reveals that whereas other cultures ...
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Feed SubscriptionComputer Gains Sentience, Won’t Stop Saying It’s Vegan
Fears that it would see humans as a threat in the manner depicted the Terminator series thus proved baseless. Rehovot, June 21 – Developers at the Weizmann Institute of Science have succeeded in constructing a sentient computer, they announced today, ...
Read More »Tel Aviv Man Couldn’t Tell Pride Parade Any Different From Normal Day
Signs that made retroactive sense included disruptions of traffic, which Pitsek said he had not noticed because Tel Aviv is already a traffic nightmare. Tel Aviv, June 14 – A resident of Israel’s second-largest city admitted surprise today after being ...
Read More »Latest Haaretz Conference Manages To Weed Out Presenters Shoving Objects Up Rectum
The conference was nevertheless marred by a woman in the audience greeting Minister of Education Naftali Bennett with a Nazi salute. Tel Aviv, June 12 – A “Peace Conference” convened by one of Israel’s most venerable dailies succeeded in avoiding ...
Read More »Scientists Confirm If You Give Mouse Cookie, Will Ask For Milk
The experiment outcome closely matches that posited by researchers Laura Joffe Numeroff and Felicia Bond in a 1985 paper. Rehovot, June 8 – Researchers at the Weizmann Institute of Science have managed to confirm a longstanding hypothesis regarding murine behavior, first ...
Read More »Proposal To Offer Land To Car Crashes So They Stop Killing People
“We’ve enjoyed periods as long as five days at a time without a Palestinian attempt on Jewish lives. That could work with cars too.” Carmiel-Misgav, June 4 – Road safety activists have put forth an initiative to treat the scourge ...
Read More »Jews Control All Banks, Media In Israel
The concentration of such power in the hands of Jews might brook resentment from wider Israeli society. Tel Aviv, May 29 – A survey of all major Israeli financial institutions, broadcast entertainment companies, and journalistic enterprises has uncovered a reality ...
Read More »BDS Hoping To Gain Control Of Parent Committee At Preschool
“We need to begin our indoctrination much earlier than college.” Tel Aviv, May 24 – Activists working to promote academic, commercial, and political boycotts of Israel are aiming to place their allies on the committee that represents parents at a ...
Read More »Popular New ‘Barghouti Diet’ Ignores Calories Eaten In Secret
The eat-all-the-junk-food-you-want-as-long-as-you-think-nobody-is-looking diet is the latest thing. Savyon, May 17 – Trendy Israelis have begun to embrace a new regimen for controlling food intake, inspired by the discipline of a prominent Palestinian prisoner, that only reckons calories from food not ...
Read More »Masada Staff Hoping Someone Told Trump Site Not Air-Conditioned
“I wonder if he’s ever been exposed to the elements foo more than a minute or two in his life,” remarked Hadas Hel, a guide at the site. Masada, Judean Desert, May 15 – Administrators of the archaeological park centered ...
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