The old units will be given to the Postal Authority, which sees as its mission to keep its methods firmly planted in a previous era. Jerusalem, April 27 – The National Insurance Institute, Vehicle Licensing Authority, Ministry of the Interior, ...
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Feed SubscriptionMan Says He Knows How Dachau Inmates Felt Because He’s On Low-Carb Diet
“In terms of always wondering when you might ever feel a full stomach again, I got that.” Givatayim, April 23 – A local resident told reporters on Holocaust Remembrance Day that because he is adhering to a regimen that restricts ...
Read More »6-Year-Old: Family Leadership Ignores Threat Of Monsters Under Bed
“How many children have to be eaten alive by these creatures before they take it seriously?” Kiryat Motzkin, April 19 – Local first-grader Itai Zehavi had harsh words this morning for the heads of the household he inhabits, accusing them ...
Read More »Police Bust Plot To Hold Afikoman For Ransom
Incidents of this nature occasionally mar the Passover proceedings, and that the police department took steps this year to forestall recurrences. Beersheva, April 10 – Law enforcement authorities announced today that they have arrested several juveniles who, they allege, planned ...
Read More »New ‘BDS Tour’ Of Israel Allows Travelers To Boycott From Up Close
“With Woke Tours, there is no need to sacrifice the world-famous cuisine, culture and beaches of Tel Aviv – a center of LGBTQ life – just because one wants to make a political statement.” Tel Aviv, April 3 – A ...
Read More »Egged Driver Embarks On Mission To Eliminate Following Distance
The driver moved to close the gap as quickly as possible, lest, one must assume, a surfeit of air wreak untold havoc on everything in the vicinity. Jerusalem, March 30 – The operator of a local bus covering the Givat ...
Read More »Goebbels Doesn’t Know Whether To Be Flattered Or Repulsed By Haaretz Column Offer
Publisher Amos Schocken made the offer in person, according to Haaretz. Berlin, March 26 – Nazi propaganda chief Josef Goebbels voiced conflicting emotions today over an invitation from the Israeli newspaper Haaretz to write a weekly op-ed article for them. The ...
Read More »Leaders Call Efforts To Reduce Fatal Crashes In Arab Sector ‘Cultural Imperialism’
NGOs also characterized the programs as impinging on the community’s identity as victim by implying that Arabs might possess volition, a notion that strikes at the very heart of modern Arab identity. Tayibe, March 22 – Prominent figures in Israel’s Arab ...
Read More »Study: Vaccines Implicated In Not Dying From Horrible, Preventable Diseases
Because of the widespread use of vaccines, most children will never know what it’s like to die from diphtheria. Jerusalem, March 17 – Researchers at Hadassah University Hospital have published the shocking results of a study they conducted that links ...
Read More »Proctologists Find Heads Of Remaining Two-State Solution Advocates
“The ears are located in the head, and the location of that cranium within the anus would effectively block the patient from hearing the dehumanization and delegitimization of Jewish sovereignty so prevalent in Palestinian media.” Haifa, March 13 – Diagnosticians ...
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