“I’m telling you, this is the deal of a lifetime, and I’m offering it to you.” Jerusalem, January 5 – A property agent who has noticed you believe President-elect Donald Trump will make good on his campaign promise to transfer ...
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Feed SubscriptionPlastic Bag Law Takes Effect; Environment Saved Forever
Politicians can now move on to other important matters, such as whether or not the prime minster ordering a suit from a tailor means he is detached from the people. Jerusalem, January 1 – As of today, Israeli supermarkets will ...
Read More »Famous People Have Died 50% Of Days Local Dad Has Given Hanukkah Gifts
Avrahami, a plumbing contractor, admitted feeling torn, as he has been planning a buildup over the eight-day holiday toward an impressive finale on the last night. Gan Yavne, December 27 – Area father of 3 Ron Avrahami voiced apprehension today ...
Read More »SHOCKER: Scientists Find Non-Synthetic Compounds In Sufganiya ‘Jelly’
The public health ramifications of the study, if confirmed by subsequent research, are yet unknown. Rehovot, December 22 – Researchers at the Weizmann Institute of Science have discovered what are apparently actual non-artificial substances in the standard filling used for ...
Read More »Judah Relieved Tamar Episode Won’t Be Taught In Day Schools
Tamar was unavailable for comment; a member of the household chastised reporters for disturbing her recovery from a difficult birth of twins. Adullam, Canaan, December 18 – Jacob’s fourth son and a leader of the emerging people of Israel expressed ...
Read More »Swedish Minister Urges Jacob To See Rape Of Dina As Cultural Misunderstanding
The societal norm in Shechem is to kidnap, imprison, and rape girls whom one desires. Stockholm, December 14 – Sweden’s Minister of Foreign Affairs Margot Wallström suggested to Hebrew patriarch Jacob today that he and his family alter their perspective ...
Read More »Dinner Table Hardliner Declares ‘Death To Broccoli’
She contends creamed corn was displaced by the broccoli and is the rightful occupant of the left side of the plate. Givatayim, December 8 – Harari family members remained divided today over how to handle the extremist positions of dinner ...
Read More »Man Has Local Shop Make Pro-BDS Shirts To Sell At Guns ‘N’ Roses Tel Aviv Concert
“Admit it, you’re jealous you didn’t think of this yourself first.” Yarkon Park, December 5 – Axl Rose and his bandmates will perform here in seven months, but one area entrepreneur already sees an economic niche that the scheduled concert ...
Read More »Habima Theater In Uproar Over Non-Anti-Zionist Work
Nowhere in the dialogue, setting, or characterization of the play can one find clear condemnation of Jewish sovereignty in the ancient Jewish homeland. Tel Aviv, November 30 – Israel’s leading drama company found itself in the midst of cultural controversy ...
Read More »Stupid ‘Muezzin Law’ Says Nothing About Your Goddamn Neighbor’s Alarm Clock
May-Aynei lays partial blame at the feet of the legislators themselves, who tend to live in more spacious accommodations and hear less of the goings-on in neighbors’ homes. Rosh HaAyin, November 23 – Examination of recent legislation to limit the ...
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