It remains unknown whether the boy ever succeeded in his quest. Qumran, Judean Desert, November 21 – Scholars exploring the remaining pieces of ancient parchment not included in the formal collection of writings known as the Dead Sea Scrolls have ...
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Feed SubscriptionGuy Also Named ‘Lot’ Tired Of Redirecting Lynch Mob To Other Lot’s House
“Why these people can’t keep their information straight, I don’t know, but I’m about ready to burn down the whole city just to get some rest at this point.” Sodom, April 15 – A man who shares a name with ...
Read More »Israeli Scientists Now Just Trolling BDS With Breakthroughs
Lancet specifically cited recent breakthroughs in AIDS research, cancer treatment, and Alzheimer prevention. Rechovot, November 13 – A representative of Israeli research institutions and personalities admitted that the main factor behind a string of recent scientific and technological advances emanating ...
Read More »US Election Campaign Almost Over, Israelis Prepare To Watch TV Again
“I’m looking forward to checking Twitter again,” confessed Dahlia, who has been living in her apartment’s sealed room since the beginning of August. Haifa, November 8 – Israelis are looking forward to Wednesday and Thursday of this week, when the ...
Read More »Israel 1st In OECD Ranking Of Obsession With OECD Rankings
The OCD with the OECD outpaced countries that typically top the charts in all the other OECD measures. Paris, November 3 – The Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development has released its annual report on each member state’s level of ...
Read More »Scholars: Haaretz ‘Likely A Forgery;’ ‘Utter Crap’
The team remains unsure what the motive might be for the elaborate hoax, since economic reward has not been associated with Haaretz for years. Tel Aviv, October 30 – Researchers at Tel Aviv University have determined that the daily publication ...
Read More »Ancient Palestinians Tired Of Zionist Time-Travelers Planting Jewish Evidence
Palestinians remain loath to approach the authorities about the phenomenon; they fear their claims will be dismissed as nonsensical. Bet Shemesh, October 26 – Palestinian farmers of the tenth century Before the Common Era have grown weary of Zionist conspirators ...
Read More »Kids Excited To Move Fights From House To Sukkah
The children, ages two through fifteen, did not break stride as they transitioned from fighting over the presence of unwanted siblings in their bedrooms to fighting over whose turn it is to use the red sleeping bag. Jerusalem, October 18 ...
Read More »Trump Objectifies Women, Says Paper With Semi-Nudes On Front Page
The reality TV personality apologized for his remarks and the hurt they caused, whereas the Yediot Aharonot editorial board has yet to exhibit the necessary self-awareness. Tel Aviv, October 9 – Israel’s second-most-popular daily reported today on Donald Trump’s recorded ...
Read More »Single Man Bewildered By Lack Of Yom Kippur Lunch Invitations
“I hope this isn’t personal.” Jerusalem, October 6 – A local resident who customarily accepts the hospitality of various families in the neighborhood for Sabbath and festival meals voiced confusion today over the disappearance of such willing hosts for the ...
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