They will thus gain immensely from the burgeoning sales of the book among those who wish the nation ill. Jerusalem, February 11 – Treasury officials gathered in the Israeli capital today to celebrate the country’s most recent achievement, a secret ...
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Feed SubscriptionTel Aviv Controllers Of Robot Rubio Pleased With Debate
Rubio’s controllers had an infamous playful moment early last year when they made their robot repeatedly reach for his water during a political speech. Tel Aviv, February 7 – The day following the final debate among the multiple remaining Republican ...
Read More »Haaretz Writer Fails To Hit Weekly Quota Of ‘Fascist’, ‘McCarthyist’
Measures in case of further violations include the removal of Shakran’s access to articles pre-written by left-wing NGOs. Tel Aviv, February 3 – A journalist at Israel’s most prestigious newspaper has been disciplined for not meeting the publisher’s mandated minimum number ...
Read More »Boy Who Stabbed Cites UN Chief: ‘Human Nature To React To Homework’
The boy’s attorney, Zehavi Gal-Un, blamed the Minister of Education for the incident. Kfar Sava, January 27 – Inspired by United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon’s refusal to condemn Palestinian stabbing attacks on Israelis, a high school senior accused of attacking his ...
Read More »Snow Assuages Rogel Alpher’s Guilt By Being Even Whiter Than He
“Snow, at least, is even whiter, and I am therefore not the most guilty thing in existence.” Tel Aviv, January 25 – Haaretz columnist and self-hating Israeli Rogel Alpher expressed a measure of relief after Israel’s first major snowfall of ...
Read More »Palestinians Studying Free In Israeli Jails Complain Of Grade Inflation
“Inmates suffer under this harsh grade inflation regime.” Ofer Prison, near Jerusalem, January 20 – Palestinians convicted of terrorism offenses against Israelis accused the administrators of their free university degree program of padding the scores the inmates achieved on exams ...
Read More »Olmert Miffed Not To Be On List Of Criminals Freed For Iran
He had expected to be rewarded for conducting a 2006 war with Iran’s proxy Hezbollah in such a way that the Shiite organization gained credibility Jerusalem, January 16 – Former Prime Minister Ehud Olmert voiced anger over his omission from ...
Read More »Man Hoping To Get EU Funding For Mooning IDF
“My operation is perfectly positioned, if you will, to exploit this situation.” Raanana, January 11 – A local resident has applied for a grant from the European Commission to help him fund hid efforts to expose his backside at IDF ...
Read More »Israelis Shocked That Netflix Not Pronounced ‘Netfleeks’
“I’ve been saying the name wrong. It’s just on the face, on the face.” Tel Aviv, January 7 – With Netflix expanding its service into Israel for the first time as of yesterday, hundreds of thousands of Israelis rushed to ...
Read More »Gerbils Who Caused Black Death Hiding Out In Israel
If confirmed, the link will add to a long list of animals used by Jews and Zionist to weaken their opponents. Somewhere near Qalqiliya, January 3 – With their cover finally blown and their role in the spread of the ...
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