The first indication of trouble was that Richard Nixon kept escaping. Jerusalem, November 29 – The Dustbin of History will no longer accept any discredited or defeated ideas, its management announced today, after a report found that the facility has ...
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Feed SubscriptionButcher Thinks Speaking English Means You Want Thanksgiving Turkey
“I have it ready for you in Tuesday or Wednesday, yes?” Jerusalem, November 25 – The proprietor of a meat and poultry establishment assumes that if your first language is English, you definitely want to buy a whole turkey to prepare ...
Read More »‘Islamophobia Airlines’ To Compete With El Al On Security
It costs less to implement the ethnic filter than to employ personnel who must interact with every single passenger. Tel Aviv, November 22 – Heightened tensions in recent weeks over Islamic terrorism has air travelers opting for carriers with greater ...
Read More »New Israel Fund Grantees Pool Money For Defense Of Paris Suspects
“Right now there are a bunch of young Muslims in Europe whom we expect to use their ethnic origins in court to justify their violence, and we need to support that because it hits home for us.” Jerusalem, November 16 – ...
Read More »Spate Of Stabbings Has Rendered Teen Girls Unable To Even
Now they cannot even at least fifteen times per day, up from an average of only nine times per day before the current wave of attacks began nearly two months ago. Ra’anana, November 11 – A report by the Ministry ...
Read More »Ben & Jerry’s Israel Nixes ‘Palestinian Organ Harvest’ Flavor
The manufacturer has been unable to secure Palestinian organs or tissues that could be considered FairTrade. B’er Tuvia Industrial Zone, November 6 – The importers and manufacturers of Ben and Jerry’s premium ice cream in Israel put the kibosh on ...
Read More »Police Cruelly Deny Journalists Opportunity To Report Lynch By Jews
“To my great dismay, the police undermined my ability to provide our audience with a visceral confirmation of my biases.” Rishon LeTzion, November 2 – Law enforcement personnel in this Tel Aviv suburb displayed what journalists are describing as intense ...
Read More »Roger Waters Livid At Israeli Reverence For Wall
“I’m going to put a stop to this nonsense. Even if it takes two thousand years.” New York, October 28 – A leading figure in the movement to impose a cultural boycott on Israel expressed shock and anger today that ...
Read More »Tel Aviv To Build Wall To Keep Out Separation Barrier Advocates
“We will shield ourselves from the mentality that walling ourselves off from trouble somehow solves the problem.” Tel Aviv, October 22 – Perturbed that many people who accept separation barriers as a valid approach to address problems enter Tel Aviv ...
Read More »To Go With Palestinian Child Livers, Bistro Offers Fava Beans, Chianti
Hannibal introduced delicacies such as Tongue à la Nurse, acting with such casualness that her pulse likely never got above 85 in the process. Tel Aviv, October 18 – At Lecter, an upscale restaurant in downtown Tel Aviv, the wine list ...
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