Developers have yet to arrive at a process for gaining governmental approval for their projects that does not involve the illicit provision of money or favors. Jerusalem, December 28 – Building developers across Israel expressed bewilderment and frustration at the upheld ...
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Feed SubscriptionFrank Costanza’s Car Still In Good Spot Near Tel Aviv Theater
“He’s got the good spot in front of the good building in the good neighborhood.” Tel Aviv, December 24 – Nearly a week after he attended a pair of shows by his son’s best friend in this Mediterranean city, Frank ...
Read More »Tel Aviv S&M Subculture Torn Over Gag Orders
“… but on the other hand, right where my watch would be, I’ve got these welts from the handcuffs…” Tel Aviv, December 20 – Members of this Mediterranean city’s sexual sadomasochism scene say they are of two minds about court-imposed gag ...
Read More »Trump Postpones Israel Trip; Ynet Trolls Mourn Chance To See Their God
“Bibi’s no Trump, and the trolls know that.” Givatayim, Israel, December 16 – Subtlety-free, bigoted loudmouths who dominate the comments section on the Ynet news site voiced their disappointment this week at Donald Trump postponing his announced trip to Israel later ...
Read More »Crappy Donut Stores Accuse High-End Shops Of ‘Cultural Appropriation’
“The only real difference between a caramel sufganiyah and a jam-filled one is the color of the junk we pipe into it. Anyone who tells you otherwise is a colonialist, elitist pig.” Jerusalem, December 9 – Longtime sellers of the ...
Read More »Fistfight At Elders Of Zion Over Whose Turn To Enslave Muslims Today
Administrators stressed that no diabolical plans were compromised as a result of the fracas. Tel Aviv, December 3 – Rival members of the International Zionist Conspiracy came to blows this morning over who had reserved today’s session overseeing the subjugation and ...
Read More »Dustbin Of History Closed Amid Environmental Concerns
The first indication of trouble was that Richard Nixon kept escaping. Jerusalem, November 29 – The Dustbin of History will no longer accept any discredited or defeated ideas, its management announced today, after a report found that the facility has ...
Read More »Butcher Thinks Speaking English Means You Want Thanksgiving Turkey
“I have it ready for you in Tuesday or Wednesday, yes?” Jerusalem, November 25 – The proprietor of a meat and poultry establishment assumes that if your first language is English, you definitely want to buy a whole turkey to prepare ...
Read More »‘Islamophobia Airlines’ To Compete With El Al On Security
It costs less to implement the ethnic filter than to employ personnel who must interact with every single passenger. Tel Aviv, November 22 – Heightened tensions in recent weeks over Islamic terrorism has air travelers opting for carriers with greater ...
Read More »New Israel Fund Grantees Pool Money For Defense Of Paris Suspects
“Right now there are a bunch of young Muslims in Europe whom we expect to use their ethnic origins in court to justify their violence, and we need to support that because it hits home for us.” Jerusalem, November 16 – ...
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